What a Pleasant Surprise!

So I gave my sibling the use of our car, dh and I drove hers to the garage, then I went with her to pick it up.  Luckily it needed only a reset of the little button.  Some sort of on star magic thing.  (Didn't sound or feel like only needing a reset to me)

When I drove our car back home - the gas tank was full!

I thanked my sister for that today as she did not use 1/2 a tank.  She in turn thanked me for what I have done for her and her kids. Said that it was the very least she could do for us. Shocker.

She is in serious debt, serious marital turmoil and in serious denial.  She won't quit spending money.  Each of her kids got an ipod, with a nice case, with insurance against everything.  That was over $1000 right there.  Plus clothes, toys, games and crafts.

I told her that she needs to stop spending money she doesn't have.  I told her that she needs counselling.  She says "I know" and does nothing.

What I fear is that she the idiot and the idiot she's married to will loose the house.  I fear that 3 little kids will have nowhere to live.  I fear that she will come to me with her hand out and I will say "NO".  I will tell her to sell some of her 6 pairs of black leather boots.  Stop spending over $1000 per month on dance lessons.  Stop getting her hair coloured something new every 6 weeks.  Stop with all of the purses.  Figure out necessities and go from there.

In the meantime what about her kids that already have problems?

The parental units have washed their hands of her and the 3 once precious and the only worth visiting grandchildren!  The once golden daughter has been kicked to the curb.  It is ridiculous what nasty people they are.  Now both retired, they have a huge, huge pile of money. Millionaires. They don't want the tarnished golden daughter to have a dime until they are dead.  And not like I was ever the shining star either.  They did increase the Xmas gift this year to $100 per person, double from last year.  But if grandparents don't want to spend Christmas with grandchildren is it still a lovely gift?  The parental units went away this weekend.  Grandma is better.  So the first thought is not to see grand kids.  That makes it 2 years in a row nothing to do with my kids at Christmas. 

 

I am finding it really hard to bite my tongue.  To take the high road.  The positive note is that I do know how I never want to be.

 

 

Maybe I'm the one that is abnormal? 

 

I am thankful that dh and I are doing really good.  In spite of family problems, injuries, job loss, we are on the same page.  Our kids are OK and our finances are OK.

 

We need a new roof in the spring, new tires for the suv, another semester for kid #1.  We have a plan and life goes on regardless.

 

 



The Best of Plans...

Things have been a bit of a  huge cluster since I hit enter on my last post. 

I had 2 loaves of bread in the oven and all of my cookie ingredients out on the counter, laundered bedding out of the dryer... phone call from my parents.  My Grandma's care home nurse just called and she had according to the Dr. a "Massive stroke and is unresponsive".

Long story short, at 6 pm Dec. 23rd I was on the road with my sibling for a one way 4 hour trip (that took 3.5).  My Grandma was very unwell but it was no stroke.  I don't know where these doc's get trained?  She had a grand mal siezure and was recovering.  Still not good but not what we were led to believe.

I was going to have my dh bring all of the kids (6) and 2 dogs and some food down but my parents literally had nothing in the fridge.  And 2 spare bedrooms were filled with mothers hoard.  Not going to work.  So that night at 2 am I said that we were going home the next afternoon.  My dh bought a lasagna from the store, a garlic bread and some romaine for a cesar salad.  Ta Da! Christmas eve will be served. The 5 of us and my sister and 3 kids. Instead of a lump of coal, I got to spend 10 hours of "alone travel time" with my sister.  Not go to church like I wanted, and not have any of the food I bought.  Next day for Christmas I pulled 2 roasts out of the freezer and we had them with potatoes and veggies. Again for the 5 of us and my sister and 3 kids.  She brought... nothing.  Oh yes, on the way home her fancy vehicle had the engine light come on and felt like the transmission was going.  So rather than have her and 3 kids stranded at -30 I gave her the use of our car.  Then yesterday I drove her suv to the shop with dh following me and she has our car.  I'm sure at any moment I will get a thank-you! For our car and providing 2 Christmas meals for her family.  I'm still waiting.

I would like a do-over.

My Grandma is much better today.  Walking short distances, eating and better oriented.  We (dh, myself and my kids) will go and visit in a week or so.

When I am feeling a little more in control of things we are going to have our Christmas meal on another day. 

Today I have to go into work for 45 min.  Not sure really how I'm getting there.  Dh may come home and get me and take kid #3 to his work.  My kids #1 and #2 are both working and spending this week with the x.

I am ready to wrap up 2012.  Scrunch it in a ball and throw it in the garbage really.

I'm not even going to ask what else can happen or how crappy can things get....

So the Good Things...
I have great, normal, nice, healthy kids
Grandma doing much better
I have 2 cars that work just fine
I am feeling healthy today
I got lovely gifts from the kids and dh
I have no mortgage and I have savings in the bank

Things that suck...
it is so cold it is ridiculous
my sibling the idiot ingrate
not the Christmas I hoped or planned on

Celebrating a Simple Christmas

Today I am getting some final touches done for Christmas.  The stocking stuffers are organized, the gifts are all wrapped and I'm making cookies and bread.

I have to go into work tomorrow for 45 min.  My boss is so nice (not).

My parental units will come tomorrow.  If history repeats (this will be the third time) they will arrive when the food is on the table.  So should the sibling and her 3 kids. So 5:30 is what I'm preparing for.

Whatever.  My oldest has to work until 5 so it suits me.

I'm pretty happy with the fact that I'm not overdoing it this year.  I've killed myself cleaning and baking and decorating for so many years and for what?  My kids like things simple, the dh's ocd can't handle the extra decorations and the mess and the parents are only here for a couple of hours and don't appreciate anything.  So this year is relaxed, I'm looking forward to quiet days of reading and kids around.  A couple batches of cookies that they love.  It's all good.

This year I'm not stretching my money to the brink getting ready for the final mortgage pay down.  I have some in the bank and am more worried about savings and retirement funds and vacation funds.

The mortgage freedom didn't bring a wild exciting new way to live.  It brought simple, calm and relaxed.  The pressure off of me has been a gift.

I give thanks for that.  I am grateful for what I have.  I'm grateful for what I can give.

2013 holds challenges of new jobs for both dh and I.  I am still working to recover from my injury.  The blessing of being mortgage free has taken off so much stress.

I hope that Christmas is a wonderful time for all of those that read here!

My little #3 is 6 years old.  This past October he told me about what they had practiced in school that day... "We did a lock down Mommy".  The day before there had been a suspicious person seen a couple of blocks from the school, police were called but no one ever found.  I cried later because I thought about what a sad world this is. How my little one, that is still my baby sweetheart is doing a lock down drill! His teacher had them all hide in the class, the door was locked, paper over the door window and blinds were drawn.  He said that his teacher cried when they asked what they should do if they were in the washroom and came back to find the door locked.  She told them where to go and hide.  She told them that she was going to protect them and keep them safe.

They also started locking all but the front door of the school. (Huge pain in the butt when it is -25 degrees and I have to walk the whole way around to get in) 

I'm crying again thinking about it.  At the time I thought it was a case of over reacting by the school.  I thought that it was scaring the kids.  I mean really?!  This is Canada, I live in the suburbs, people need to relax.


Know what?  I would rather that I froze to death than some wicked person slip in the side door.  I want my little one to know where to hide and be safe.  It's obscene and disgusting what has become to this world.

My heart aches for the children, families and teachers of Newtown.


There is nothing else I have right now that matters.  Money and jobs are just that.  Money and jobs.

I am blessed to have my little family that I love.

Getting into christmas mode

10 people bought for and 4 to go...

I'm finished my parents and the outlaws with hubs and the kids left.  I know what I'm getting the kids but I'm pretty stumped with dh.  He has given me a couple of ideas but to be honest I don't like them.

He's hard to buy for.  Then apparently, so am I. (Not true, I like lots of things)

I did an intervention on my investments.  I have some high risk RRSP's that were on a downward slide.  I pulled them out and put them into a short term interest account.  I am not doing much more with them until February.  Good thing too as I have saved $300 in the last 10 days!  I was loosing sleep at night about the US economy!  That is a sign that I need to move my money!  lol!

Our EF Emergency Fund is in a TFSA and that will come due for renewal in January.  It is in a GIC (Guaranteed Investment Certificate) that we can withdraw from penalty free at any time but if you do you don't collect the interest.  Big whoop for how low the interest rate is.  But better than a slap in the belly with a wet fish!

My side of the family is unravelling.  The perfect sibling is in such deep debt and is emotionally paralyzed.  She has been in denial for so long that she can not function.  Her husband is running around with anything that breathes, drinking heavily (then driving) and gambling all of the time!  So when the going gets tough, princess gets a $150 hair cut, colour and highlights, and wants to get a new $300 North Face jacket...yep, that will make it all go away....

I don't know how crappy her marriage has to get before she says "Enough".  Rock bottom is at a different level for every person.  Hers level is pretty darn low I tell ya!  I'm just sitting back and watching the carnage and it isn't pretty.  There are 3 kids being left by the wayside in all of this nonsense!

I am hosting Christmas for the parents and the sibling.  She would be alone with the kids if I didn't.  It's been done to me (ignored at Christmas) but I won't reciprocate.  If I died tomorrow I would know that I chose to treat my family better than they have me and my children.  It's different now.  A giant emotional step back helps a lot.  I told my parents and sister what time, what is on the menu, what is expected of them (to bring) and that my own family of 5 will be going to church service Christmas eve as we have done and enjoyed the last 3 years.  They can choose to join us or not.  My house, my family traditions. 

It shouldn't be too much extra cost.  I have a big turkey that I was going to cook the 25th.  Now less leftovers is all. 

Maybe I'll stuff the bird with Prozac so that we all get along!!

The Plan is: There is No Plan

I would like to have a plan. 
I would like to know how much longer dh has his job. 
I would like to know when my stupid neck and arm will feel better (if ever). 
I would like to know if I can make plans for holidays, home improvements or if I will need that money to pay day to day bills.

My savings are NOT burning a hole in my pocket but I would like a clue of what direction to take.

I feel like I've been put on hold for almost a year.  Although I'm still making progress with savings and I'm making progress with my back injury so any movement forward is still progress for the good.

I've been thinking a bit about going back to school.  Redonculous!  I'm 43!  I have 3 kids!  But hear me out...

2 more years of University would put me at $120,000 a year.  I could get a more brains less brawn job. 

Something to ponder as I get the acupuncture needles stuck in my back and try to get the feeling back in my hand.....

I can ride the bus to school with my 18 year old!  Oh he'd love it!!! *snort*

Education could be my ticket again to making my situation better.

The Good Things...
4 Wheel drive in a foot of snow
A dh that shovels the drive again, and again and again
Healthy kids

Things That Suck
a foot of snow
my extended family

Good Bye Forever Mortgage!

This could be my last post about the mortgage. Ever!

Yesterday in the mail came the discharge from land titles.  It only took 8 months.  Good thing I wasn't holding my breath!!

It is done, finished, over, kaput.  Good bye and good riddance to that mortgage lender!!!

I would like nothing more than for my name to be the only thing on that sheet of paper but, alas, there is a HELOC.  That was used for the car and SUV financing.

I don't pay any money towards it, only the hubs does.  It was cheaper than dealer financing, and I was leery about being cash poor so I agreed.

We didn't plan to purchase 2 vehicles in less than 4 months but crap happens.  A car accident could quite easily be argued a good use for emergency funds but I don't want to touch it.  With job uncertainty and health problems I want that money left where it is.

When buying our cars neither were new, both will hold value as much as a car can, and I do not drive all over the province in winter in a beater.  "End of story" as my 6 yr old says.

So I suck it up and share the title on my house with the TD bank.  There are worse things than having available credit.  It will be paid off inside of 3 years is the deadline the hubs put on himself and I'm OK with that.


Last week my kid #2 had his dental surgery.  It was by a very lovely surgeon who treated my son and I with professionalism and TLC.  My son remembers nothing except sitting in the chair and then waking up in another room with my hubs and I with him.  Like a true teenage boy he was ready to eat that day and didn't stop since!  I went through a lot of eggs and pudding and jello!

He's almost 75% back to normal with the bruising and swelling.  I am so relieved that it is behind him now.

The cost was less than the original quote... only $2130.00  a real deal!  I've submitted to my insurance but still haven't heard anything.  I should by Monday or else I will have to call into the land of "Press 1 for English"  "Press 8 for wanting to scream and bang the phone against your own head"

Life is otherwise finally nice and boring.  I have to go out and get some Halloween candy.  We get about 100-125 kids per year.  I like Kit Kats and Rockets - and soooo that's what I give out (in hopes of leftovers ;-))

Tonight we are going out for dinner with a gift card that the hubs won golfing earlier this year.

My savings are all automated these days, I treat them like bills and plan spending accordingly.  Payroll continues to screw with my paycheques so I think that there will be a big whopping payday in December as it takes them 4 months to rub their minds together and figure out where they screwed up.

So I'm going to keep rolling along and try to avoid bumps in the road.  Maybe, just maybe, I can go on vacation sometime this winter?!  Meanwhile I will continue to pretend that hockey rinks are mini getaway's (ha ha ha)

The Good Things....
Healthy happy kids
I'm feeling better

Things that suck...
I am freezing my tush off these days!

It's going to be a "Rainy Day" on Wednesday....

With my kid #2 that is the orthodontic challenge we learned on the last visit that he needs all the wisdom teeth out.  The lower ones are looking like they are "angry" and the uppers are heading sideways.  Early in life for a kid to need them out but whatever.  The orthodontist sent a letter to a dental surgeon (too complicated for a regular dentist) and we would wait to hear back.  Well if I don't get a call 2 weeks later and an appointment in less than a week.  I don't know about anyone else but around here to get a call and then get in to a specialist in less than 3 weeks is nothing short of a miracle.

The caveat... $2300 due Wednesday morning.  No billing to the insurance company first, cash on the dash thank-you.

I think that I should get $800 from my insurance and I will bill the x half of the $2300 so 1150 - 800 = 350 when the dust clears in a month or two.  But still need it up front.

Luckily my credit card balance is 0. 

I think and I hope that we are done with funerals for awhile.  This business of driving all day, come home, do laundry, repack and drive again wiped me right out last week.  $45 clothes for kid #3, $300 in gas, $130 hotel, $30 dry cleaning, $50 eating out.  Not in the agenda but what can you do?

More than my wallet, my heart can't take anymore.  I don't know if I even ate 2000 calories all last week.  Grieving, the stress of my mother, my perfect idiot sibling, so many people around (my family members funeral had 350 people) it was hard to handle. 

We've made a point to have quiet family time at home.  I'm making our favorite roast tonight and a pie made this morning.  Comfort food for us.  The kids have all talked about the way they feel over the losses and I think they are doing well.  My little ones teachers are such caring and loving people.  They have given him lots of love and support over the last couple of weeks.

The Good Things...
My little family
Wonderful teachers
Money in the rainy day fund so that I don't stress when things like this come up
Carla's bread recipe that is now all my kids will eat! (hate store bought!)

Things that suck...
wisdom teeth
even when your brain understands that everybody has to die someday, that ache that sits in your heart and the tears that roll regardless.

Sad week

You know that something is out of the ordinary when I pull out the ironing board!

It's either:

1. Wedding
2. Graduation
3. Funeral

Sadly its #3.  One this weekend and another impending as my hubby's grandma is "compassionate care" and all of the family has been called in.

My stress is off the charts.  I have booked a hotel and will not be staying with my parents.  I choose to drive an hour each way to visit the family I want to.

Now I have to buy dress clothes for my little guy.  He hates dress shirts and sweaters that itch.  It will add to the miserableness of the entire event.

Saying Goodbye soon to two wonderful women.

On the Bright Side....

There seems to be quite a bit of badness about.  I have been watching the news this past week with such sadness and a bit of anger too.  Things aren't sunshine and lollipops for quite a few bloggers as well.

I like to use my blog as a place to vent and moan about how tough I have things but really in the grand scheme of things I have nothing to complain  about.

Kid #1 has been sick for a month with a cough and sinus cold.  Over the counter meds aren't cutting it.  Maybe pneumonia or maybe bronchitis... Bright side = able to be seen immediately at walk in clinic, chest x-ray done and prescription for antibiotics for $10 and a physicians sample of steroid inhaler for free.

Kid #2 got paid for a couple of days work.  Bright side = now he can pay me back for the $90 textbook he lost.

Kid #3 had a birthday.  Super bright side = I used Shoppers Drugmart points super redemption weekend and got him a Nintendo ds and 2 games for free :)  He is over the moon happy!  He's also having a kid party today with friends and cake.  Pizza and games for 4 friends at our house.  Cost will be under $75

The man had to do a "test" of sorts at work.  There will be one man left standing after the cuts in his department and they will use this to select the most suitable candidate.  Makes for very uncomfortable times.  These guys are all friends.  There are 4 of them.  I don't think it is likely that dh will stay as he is the least senior.  There have been job opportunities come up in other places and even in Ottawa (where I said that I would consider moving).  However if I move my benefits will be terminated from my work insurance.  I would not be hired anywhere with the current state of my back.  We are staying put for now as we couldn't survive without a huge lifestyle change on only his salary.  I also won't leave my older 2 here with the x.

Bright side = emergency fund is still in place, I've been putting everything extra to savings accounts so there is a parachute for us.

My back is a little better.  I have 60% hand strength in my right hand now.  Bright side = better than the 30% of 5 months ago!

My yard is looking after itself!!  Thankfully all of the work I did last year with moving perennials and mulch has made it presentable.  The rain that we've been getting has also helped!

Here is one of my big peonies before the wind blew it all apart...

   


My daylilies are happy in the new bed they got last year.  I had no idea what colour this little guy was when I planted it.  I like it!

Here's hoping for a better month next month...

The Mon$ter has been $layed!

It is finished, goal complete!

Today I am going to enjoy this feeling.  Other than my three beautiful children, this is my best accomplishment ever.  I am 100% debt free!

There is a bottle of wine chilling right now! 

Let it sink in for a few days and then next week, set a course for my next financial project.

Thank you all that have read and followed along.  It has kept my focus and kept a little sanity sharing some of the happenings in my life.  It still feels a bit surreal even though I have been obsessing for 3 years now!

It's All Good Things...