We are going to be the Jolliest Bunch....

I am postponing the inevitable of preparing for the family Christmas.

I wonder how it is to be normal?  To be excited and happy to be with family, hug and laugh?  Is that normal?  I see it on t.v.  I haven't had since my Grandma was alive and well and able to host the whole family.  It has to be 18 years.  I loved the pies and buns cooling in the porch and the huge hug that I got walking in.  Smiling and happy to see us.

I'm not happy to see my "Golden" sibling.  But at least I will get a new critique on my home and appearance and husband.  It has been a couple of years now....

I admit that I am resorting to booze to help me through the day.  I make a damn good Sangria and I am going to enjoy it!

So from me to you and yours,

Merry Christmas!!!

I Made it!

I made it to the end of my temporary full time, plus overtime, plus call my cell all hours of the day and night job!

I also haven't had a moment of vacation since the end of June.

Thus, I am off for a month.  With the exception of a 30 minute meeting on the 10th (which the &@!3's are going to have to pay me for).  I have health matters to attend to.  An ultrasound done yesterday, 2 more physio appointments and I have about 8 months of sleep to catch up on!!

This past month has been beyond belief the people that I know and love are dying.  I've lost an Uncle (but he was 96 - not a shocker), 2 dear friends one with ovarian cancer, the other breast cancer, 2 family friends one with lymphoma and another "young" woman of 42 to breast cancer.  My best friends mom has just been diagnosed with brain cancer.

This is bullshit.  What is going on?  With the exception of the 96 yr old that smoke and drank his whole life, everyone else has lived a very healthy lifestyle!  I can't make sense of any of it.

My friends mom means the world to me. Every day after school was spent at her house.  She was the mom I wished that I had.  More importantly she is the Mom that I have tried to be like for my boys.  One that loves and hugs and laughs.  She talked to me like I was important, she took us kids places to see concerts, go camping, participate in sports.  She cheered for me like her own daughter.  I'm so grateful that I had her in my life as a role model as a child and teen.

It is a time to evaluate what I consider important.  What I want to accomplish

I don't feel much like Christmas decorating.  But I will, because it matters to my little guy.

My little family matters, my dear friends matter, I matter.  I just need to sort some things out.

Peace

Get organized and save money!

Getting organized...

Sometimes I get caught in a circle being unorganized which makes me tired, which makes me more unorganized.  I hate that I have to use the weekends to catch up on all the craziness of the week.

Being behind on laundry makes me scramble in the morning to find clothes, which makes me late making lunches, which makes me spend money on food at work.  This last month has been pretty bad for that.  Yesterday I had some time, so I did some shopping for the week and got supplies for all of my lunches.  I've also caught up on laundry and laid out my clothes for what I'm going to wear each day. No excuses this week!

At work I've been leading some groups that I'm not familiar with.  I've been happy that it's gone very well and I've received some very positive feedback.  However I stress about it so much that I don't sleep very well at night.  I tend to be a perfectionist but yet I'm not a typical "Type A" being organized enough to fall in that category.  Thankfully it's getting easier and I'm gaining confidence each time I have to do it.  What I know I do well is quickly learn my audience.  I read facial expressions and body language better than most people.  That allows me to change my method of presenting so that everyone in the group I'm leading is understanding what I need them to learn.  And I've been told that I fly by the seat of my pants very well!

It's crazy busy and my job looks like it has to be full-time until the second week of November.

Kid #1 is back in University full time and kid# 2 graduates this year!  That will come with a pile of expenses.  Kid #3 is loving school again this fall.  Another great teacher this year!

Kid 3 is back in hockey.  Needed new skates, as did kid 2.  $130 and $400 respectively.  And that is 50% off both pair!!  I split cost with my x for kid 2 so my share was "only" $200!

With all of the big stuff paid for this year...house reno's, hockey equipment and fee, tuition, I think I'm back to save mode vs. spend for a couple months.

We are getting a new to us bbq today as ours has pretty much disintigrated.  For $50 the price is right!

I get a kick out of the way some people spend their money.  Dh's family member that has a wife on maternity leave and an uncertain job just spent $1200 on their new barbecue.  He bought it as a birthday present to himself!  I have never in my life spent money like that on my own birthday present!  Some years I will let myself have a treat or splurge but not like that!  With a mortgage of $400,000 plus a line of credit, plus monthly credit card payments they're making... I don't see how anyone in their right mind can blow that kind of money.  It also comes with a lot of bragging about all of the material possessions they have.  My husband and I look at each other and give each other that little kick under the table.  They live paycheck to paycheck.

A couple weeks ago our air conditioner went kaput.  For now we just open the windows at night and close the blinds during the day.  We are holding off until spring to buy a new one.  We're having it installed by a friend of ours to keep the cost down.  Lucky for us he is a journeyman plumber and refrigeration repair person.  We can also purchase the air-conditioner through him at cost.  This will save us a few thousand dollars!

I've been too relaxed keeping track of my investments.  I have to change my contributions so that I don't go over my RRSP limit.  I've decided that I will just switch that amount over to my tax-free savings account and do a monthly contribution to that.  I've read in a couple places and I saw on TV that the government plan is to double the tax-free contribution savings room if the budget balances.  Here's hoping that government makes a promise and keeps a promise!!!

I must run, time to go to hockey!

I'm Downshifting this Life of Mine!

I have to start with the good news...

I got the part time job that I bid for!  It will likely be a 3/4 time position which is perfect.
Right now the start date isn't until Sept-Oct but I want to move that up to summer.  I am so tired that I can't focus most days.  It's just too much.

It's about choices isn't it?  Choices that we make with our best - or not so best judgement.  Choices in what works best for us.

I still want what's best for my kids, and they will get it.  I still want what's best for my dh and I and we will have it too.  If your wants don't exceed your income - you have it made really.

My Mother in law was very annoyed or something when I told her I was reducing my hours.  She looked at me and said "Well where else are you going to work to make up the hours?"  When I said- nowhere, I'm going to try and get healthy and feel better, spend some time with my kids.  She shot her eyebrows up and pursed her lips.

She has no idea that I have paid off my mortgage.  She has no idea that I will have maxed out my RRSP's this year.  I have no intention of telling her either.  My inlaws are lovely people but the more dh and I learn they are terrible with money.  They both have to work full time to pay for loans and a new mortgage.

I also have an emergency fund. A healthy one that could last over a year if I couldn't work. I don't use it unless there is a real emergency either. And by real emergency I mean loosing a limb, fire, flood, natural disaster, that kind of thing. Your kid's feet growing and needing shoes, vet bills, a flat tire, a leaking hot water heater. Not an emergency. A fact of life. I have an account for that too. I call it "Crap Happens" and it makes me smile every time I take money out and put back in to read it on my bank statement.

The dh's looser siblings have no issue hitting people up for money.  Then they go on a trip to Jamaica, buy clothes,  remodel a kitchen.  Neither have a dime saved in the bank.

Then there is my looser sibling.  So far in debt and denial it is laughable.  After scoffing at my clothes, home, cars for years.  The open ridicule that was given to me.  Now the shift is from pompous to panic as the debt skyrockets and the paycheque stays the same.  At least her family will look good in trendy clothes and shoes when they repossess the house.  :)


I have no urge to flaunt anything.  We enjoy our friends and the extended family that aren't a part of the drama and nonsense.

My little one is done sports until the end of August!  Next weekend will be the first one at home since I don't know when!  I cannot wait to spend time in the yard and to get the bathroom remodel underway!

The smell from all of the fruit trees blooming in my yard and the neighbourhood is heavenly!  I could sit outside all day!

I am off to find something to eat for kid #3 and myself, and then off to swimming lessons.  (I don't count that as a sport- I call it a life necessity!)

The Good Things...

Having enough hours in to get one of the jobs I wanted

My dh and I have been working on our marriage for a long time now.  Things are much better.

My older 2 are working hard at their jobs and maturing

Things that suck...

Don't judge me by the size of my paycheque.

all of our siblings.



March Blurb

I'ts been awhile now so I am throwing a quick post up.

On the financial front things are happily rolling along well.  I finished my tax return and had my refund within 8 days!

This year I made less money than the hubs. (first time ever) So I got to claim the deductions for once!  This resulted in a big boom of a return.  Because I had been putting away a substantial amount on my RRSP's this helped my tax return even more.

Things that I learned this year of taxes:  my dh has a very good pension plan with work.  He "doesn't believe in RRSP's". And thus he owed $2500.  He has maxed out his TFSA total however.  Suits me.  I do believe in RRSP's because my pension sucks!  I haven't maxed out my TFSA but I hope to by the end of the year.

I am taking my tax return and investing in my TFSA.  In the past that money would have been a lump sum on the mortgage.  It feels so good to know that I am now investing in my retirement instead of paying the bank!

I did a No Spend February (Groceries not included) - with only $60 in cash used in outside $$ and it was all for the kids.  My credit card statement came and it was $0.  I think that proves I don't need anything else than what I already have!  I packed all my lunches for work, didn't shop for clothes or house stuff.  

This next month there are a few bills and costs on the horizon:  house insurance.  ACK!  this has gone up and up every year - now $1500.  That is what happens when your basement floods.... 

In a couple of weeks it is kid #1 and #2's birthdays and kid #3 starts a new hockey league.  3 out of town trips and a lot of practices.

This summer is a reunion for my old high school - it is for the last 50 years of graduates.  I will not be attending.  I spoke with my mother who I believe is on the organizing committee - she told me that they can't find most of the people.  (She likes to be very secretive and strange about the oddest things)  Well mother, have you guys thought of Facebook?  No... they are mailing everything via snail mail.  I told her it is a ridiculous waste of money on stamps!  Set up a facebook page or a website.  "They are working on it"  Whatever.  I have no desire to spend an uncomfortable weekend with my parents watching my mother and her fake smile plastered on for 3 days.

This summer is going to be very busy with my work project wrapping up.  Vacation requests are not being granted for then anyways.

I started the dh on Weight Watchers a month ago.  He has 125 lbs to loose to be at normal weight.  I would settle for 50.  In 14 days he lost 8 pounds and then decided it was too hard to go without his daily 2litres of pepsi and eating whatever and whenever he wanted.  So its all back.  I've lost a big 5 pounds (sarcasm) but I like the plan and the recipes so I am doing it myself and continue to make healthy meals and lunches at home. Another 12 pounds to go and I hope to get back into my clothes from last summer!  I've cut my coffee back to 2 cups a day - down from a pot a day!  I'm sleeping better and my heartburn is better too.  I can't give it up totally yet.....

It is looking like spring is trying to come around and so when some more of the ice melts I can get out walking!  That should help the weight a bit and I need some fresh air every day.  Been cooped up all winter!  Today I have a list of errands that need to be done and I might do some shopping for kid #3 that needs some sweats and or jeans that reach his ankles!  His are all so snug and have holes in the knees!  He has been eating like a little horse and sleeping so much - having a growth spurt for sure.

On my agenda today is also a trip to Target - lol!  See if I can find me my sweet clerk for some coupons!  As one annon commenter (in a nice way) accused me that I was too hard on the clerk and if it was me I might be the same as the rude clerk.  Ummm nope!  It doesn't matter if you make $10 or $60 per hour you can still be courteous and civil when dealing with the public and if you don't know what to do or how to do it - learn.  Mumbling and shuffling your feet when you walk, scowling at a person that is purchasing goods at your store is not acceptable.  The customer is the reason that you have a job - treat them as such.  If you can't handle the requirements, work somewhere else without human interaction.

End of the soapbox spiel  :)

Have a great week everyone!

Are my Coupons not good enough for you?!

I did a quick jaunt out to Target last night.  I had found some coupons in the Friday paper for things we needed.  As a rule I think that most coupons suck in Canada.  They are for junk and low value.  We are out of antiperspirant, shaving cream, mouthwash and shampoo and low and behold - a bunch of $2 off and 2 for 1 deals.

So I am not a new couponer, when I was on mat leave 7 years ago I couponed in earnest.  You have to sign up and search and it takes effort to find good coupons here. (That's why I don't do it much now).  I know that it has to be exactly as stated to be valid so the right size etc...

After finding clearance priced products that matched my coupons I happily go to the empty till.  There were 2 shampoo that had an "Instant Save $3", plus were on clearance - so I thought I scored them for 99 cents...

The woman at the till, unsmiling said something that I couldn't understand as a greeting.  (Or it could have been she told me where to go and how to get there)  I point to the save $3 now stickers on the 2 shampoo bottles and she peels them off and then proceeds to stare at the bottles and then stare at me, like I'm being sized up as the enemy.  After the inspection was finished she informs me "These expired Dec 31 - you can't use them".  "Fine" I say "Then I don't want to buy them".

I splay my remaining coupons out like a fan in plain sight as she rings through all of my finds.  I hold them up higher and say "I have coupons".

Sour puss then scolds me (I assume as I don't speak whatever she mumbled).  Something about "Next time... don't you do blah blah blah"  She then, with more attention to detail than a CSI she scourers the coupons.  I bought 2 Degree deodorant - same size, same price but different scents.  She humphs and tells me they aren't the same. (again assuming what she said was something like that) I said that isn't a condition of the coupon.  Heavy sigh and she shuffles back to her manager that says - "Yes they are the same".  She shuffles back to the till scowling. (Huge pet peeve of mine - pick up your frickin' feet when you walk!)

I had a solid 5 minutes of humphing and sighing and glaring to buy 13 things!!!  There was nobody behind me or I would have called a manager to help little miss nasty run her investigation.

There was a "Tell us how we are doing" survey at the bottom of my receipt - so I did!  LOL!!

So I think that I will now try to find a coupon and find that little twit to ring it in every time I am near the store.  The poor woman needs my help to improve and obviously likes to work hard on her investigative skills!!  I'm going to keep finding and "helping" her until she learns to give a proper greeting and enter in a coupon!

Honestly Target: Epic Fail.

On a good note - my family has no excuse to smell bad!  We are set for sweet smelling armpits and mouths for 6 months!

That was my Winter Getaway (or the blink you missed it holiday)

I am still recovering from a marathon driving/visiting/sightseeing/eating/drinking last weekend!!

3 Days and 2 Nights and a ton of fun!

We went to see my only normal family member and his family.  It was great and the kids - my big ones included had a ball!  Sight seeing, sporting events and so many laughs.

Unless you grew up where I did, have had to be around my family, you can never really know what it was like growing up and being a part of it.  We could just talk.  No need to explain.  No need to sugar coat it.  It was like a therapy session for both of us!

The question that they had for me was "How the hell did we break away from that craziness?"  Both of us are very removed from our parents and siblings. Really, I don't know, it took a very long time. A combo of the love of my husband and kids, my personal strength, the personal growth that I have had over the years from my job and a sense of the world around me.  I don't think for one minute that the world revolves around me (unlike my parents and sibling).

I'm back to work and back to sports with my kid #3.  It was a very nice reprieve.

I'm having a dilemma of sorts for the last few days...  there is an upcoming opportunity for me to work part time.  Half as many nights and weekends.  I found it so timely to read about others that have a guilt for not working full time or bringing home the max $$ that they can.  I did that for 11 years of full time + a part time + overtime and then I almost had to pack it in from permanent injury.  My job is very physical.  The desk job I have now ends this spring.  I don't think my old job of full time is sustainable with my bad back.  I hate my boss - and I mean it Hate. My. Boss.  One of the dirtiest snakes I have had to work with in 23 years.  I think at part time I can handle it. Or I can explore other jobs as well as my previous one being only part time.  With any luck the boss will be promoted as that is what usually happens to nasty SOB's and I can go back to full time.  I am not afraid of the decreased income but I am feeling guilt or something for wanting to pull back and slow down.

I have a whack of vacation to burn up before my employer's fiscal year end or it will be paid out.  I would rather have paid time off!! So there are a lot of long weekends for me in the next 2.5 months!

Tonight I am relishing quiet time alone.  Everyone else had somewhere to go and I opted out!  Yay!! A movie that I like, popcorn and a glass of wine!!