2013 The year of Wait and See

2013 I have declared to be the year of uncertainty.  There are so many things that are out of my control.  The new position that I am supposed to start, there is no start date...
The new job for dh, there is no official job contract offer.  But now he interviews for another department next week.
My kid #1 is not trying very hard at university.  I am not impressed with the marks.  So no laptop and I will not be funding a second year as it stands now.  He has to get it together.

Kid #2 who is very bright, completely tanked his English.  He hates the teacher.  I've met her, spoke with her, she is not an unpleasant person but I agree with my son that she is disorganized and difficult to follow when she talks.  When I ask her a yes or no question 3 minutes later when she's done talking about god knows what, I still have to ask "So is that a YES or a NO?"  I appreciate people that are clear and concise.  She is neither.
Regardless of his difficulty to learn from her, all of the course requirements are on paper.  Shakespeare still has all of the same lines.

All of the Christmas decorations came down yesterday.  There weren't many up, so easy and quick to put away.  Christmas spending came in around $800 for 16 people's gifts and 3 hosted meals for 9,9 and 11 people.  I think I did really good.  My sibling owes me $50 for the parental units gift but I'm not going to see that I'm sure.

The parental units are going away on a little one week get-away to a 5* resort in central america somewhere.  Such a great deal ya know, only $3800.  But they are paying extra to be in the "exclusive club".  They just thought that I should know since they leave this Sunday and I am the contact number! Goody for you two.  Holy moly are they ever a pair of jerks.  They did see my kids the beginning of October when we were there for a funeral so I guess that is good enough.  I did not write down any of the resorts contact information because quite honestly there is not one thing that could happen, death included, that I would call them about.

Like my husband says "Keep our heads down and keep moving".  Life goes on, it doesn't matter what bs goes on around us.  I have to tend to life as it is happening in my house.

I have been researching what to do with my TFSA that comes due and my RRSP's that I pulled out of the high risk mutual funds.  I'm still up in the air.  I have a couple of funds that I think look promising and are less risk.  Will see when we meet with the financial planner in a month. 

Today I am procrastinating doing my paperwork.  I have a truck load of papers to fill out for benefits and pension because they were affected by my time off from injury.  I likely have 100 pages of forms and photocopies to do this weekend.  BARF.

What has gone my way this week?.... I got an awesome haircut yesterday and it was free!  I was able to help out my hairdresser a few months back and she was so grateful it was a freebie! (saved $55!)
I found dress pants for the new job (that starts god knows when) for 75% off - $23 tax incl.  And I splurged on a pair of casual low black shoes. $120 yikes!  But I love them and will wear them likely every day!  My previous pair are 7-8 years old and pretty scuffed up.  For clothes I've lost 12+ lbs so nothing in the pants department of my closet really fits properly.  I don't like saggy bum and always having to hike up my pants. (unlike many teenage boys!)

Having been through a few bouts of plantar fasciaitis good shoes are a must, not a splurge.  I can pay $30 every 6 months for cheap ones or $120 every 7-8 years.  Simple.

For some reason I can't add pictures with Blogger today.

The Good Things...
Great free haircut!
Healthy kids
I'm feeling better and moving better
My in-laws at least care about their grand kid and my older 2 their step-grand kids

Things that suck...
insurance paperwork
as always, my side of the family

What a Pleasant Surprise!

So I gave my sibling the use of our car, dh and I drove hers to the garage, then I went with her to pick it up.  Luckily it needed only a reset of the little button.  Some sort of on star magic thing.  (Didn't sound or feel like only needing a reset to me)

When I drove our car back home - the gas tank was full!

I thanked my sister for that today as she did not use 1/2 a tank.  She in turn thanked me for what I have done for her and her kids. Said that it was the very least she could do for us. Shocker.

She is in serious debt, serious marital turmoil and in serious denial.  She won't quit spending money.  Each of her kids got an ipod, with a nice case, with insurance against everything.  That was over $1000 right there.  Plus clothes, toys, games and crafts.

I told her that she needs to stop spending money she doesn't have.  I told her that she needs counselling.  She says "I know" and does nothing.

What I fear is that she the idiot and the idiot she's married to will loose the house.  I fear that 3 little kids will have nowhere to live.  I fear that she will come to me with her hand out and I will say "NO".  I will tell her to sell some of her 6 pairs of black leather boots.  Stop spending over $1000 per month on dance lessons.  Stop getting her hair coloured something new every 6 weeks.  Stop with all of the purses.  Figure out necessities and go from there.

In the meantime what about her kids that already have problems?

The parental units have washed their hands of her and the 3 once precious and the only worth visiting grandchildren!  The once golden daughter has been kicked to the curb.  It is ridiculous what nasty people they are.  Now both retired, they have a huge, huge pile of money. Millionaires. They don't want the tarnished golden daughter to have a dime until they are dead.  And not like I was ever the shining star either.  They did increase the Xmas gift this year to $100 per person, double from last year.  But if grandparents don't want to spend Christmas with grandchildren is it still a lovely gift?  The parental units went away this weekend.  Grandma is better.  So the first thought is not to see grand kids.  That makes it 2 years in a row nothing to do with my kids at Christmas. 

 

I am finding it really hard to bite my tongue.  To take the high road.  The positive note is that I do know how I never want to be.

 

 

Maybe I'm the one that is abnormal? 

 

I am thankful that dh and I are doing really good.  In spite of family problems, injuries, job loss, we are on the same page.  Our kids are OK and our finances are OK.

 

We need a new roof in the spring, new tires for the suv, another semester for kid #1.  We have a plan and life goes on regardless.

 

 



The Best of Plans...

Things have been a bit of a  huge cluster since I hit enter on my last post. 

I had 2 loaves of bread in the oven and all of my cookie ingredients out on the counter, laundered bedding out of the dryer... phone call from my parents.  My Grandma's care home nurse just called and she had according to the Dr. a "Massive stroke and is unresponsive".

Long story short, at 6 pm Dec. 23rd I was on the road with my sibling for a one way 4 hour trip (that took 3.5).  My Grandma was very unwell but it was no stroke.  I don't know where these doc's get trained?  She had a grand mal siezure and was recovering.  Still not good but not what we were led to believe.

I was going to have my dh bring all of the kids (6) and 2 dogs and some food down but my parents literally had nothing in the fridge.  And 2 spare bedrooms were filled with mothers hoard.  Not going to work.  So that night at 2 am I said that we were going home the next afternoon.  My dh bought a lasagna from the store, a garlic bread and some romaine for a cesar salad.  Ta Da! Christmas eve will be served. The 5 of us and my sister and 3 kids. Instead of a lump of coal, I got to spend 10 hours of "alone travel time" with my sister.  Not go to church like I wanted, and not have any of the food I bought.  Next day for Christmas I pulled 2 roasts out of the freezer and we had them with potatoes and veggies. Again for the 5 of us and my sister and 3 kids.  She brought... nothing.  Oh yes, on the way home her fancy vehicle had the engine light come on and felt like the transmission was going.  So rather than have her and 3 kids stranded at -30 I gave her the use of our car.  Then yesterday I drove her suv to the shop with dh following me and she has our car.  I'm sure at any moment I will get a thank-you! For our car and providing 2 Christmas meals for her family.  I'm still waiting.

I would like a do-over.

My Grandma is much better today.  Walking short distances, eating and better oriented.  We (dh, myself and my kids) will go and visit in a week or so.

When I am feeling a little more in control of things we are going to have our Christmas meal on another day. 

Today I have to go into work for 45 min.  Not sure really how I'm getting there.  Dh may come home and get me and take kid #3 to his work.  My kids #1 and #2 are both working and spending this week with the x.

I am ready to wrap up 2012.  Scrunch it in a ball and throw it in the garbage really.

I'm not even going to ask what else can happen or how crappy can things get....

So the Good Things...
I have great, normal, nice, healthy kids
Grandma doing much better
I have 2 cars that work just fine
I am feeling healthy today
I got lovely gifts from the kids and dh
I have no mortgage and I have savings in the bank

Things that suck...
it is so cold it is ridiculous
my sibling the idiot ingrate
not the Christmas I hoped or planned on

Celebrating a Simple Christmas

Today I am getting some final touches done for Christmas.  The stocking stuffers are organized, the gifts are all wrapped and I'm making cookies and bread.

I have to go into work tomorrow for 45 min.  My boss is so nice (not).

My parental units will come tomorrow.  If history repeats (this will be the third time) they will arrive when the food is on the table.  So should the sibling and her 3 kids. So 5:30 is what I'm preparing for.

Whatever.  My oldest has to work until 5 so it suits me.

I'm pretty happy with the fact that I'm not overdoing it this year.  I've killed myself cleaning and baking and decorating for so many years and for what?  My kids like things simple, the dh's ocd can't handle the extra decorations and the mess and the parents are only here for a couple of hours and don't appreciate anything.  So this year is relaxed, I'm looking forward to quiet days of reading and kids around.  A couple batches of cookies that they love.  It's all good.

This year I'm not stretching my money to the brink getting ready for the final mortgage pay down.  I have some in the bank and am more worried about savings and retirement funds and vacation funds.

The mortgage freedom didn't bring a wild exciting new way to live.  It brought simple, calm and relaxed.  The pressure off of me has been a gift.

I give thanks for that.  I am grateful for what I have.  I'm grateful for what I can give.

2013 holds challenges of new jobs for both dh and I.  I am still working to recover from my injury.  The blessing of being mortgage free has taken off so much stress.

I hope that Christmas is a wonderful time for all of those that read here!

It's going to be a "Rainy Day" on Wednesday....

With my kid #2 that is the orthodontic challenge we learned on the last visit that he needs all the wisdom teeth out.  The lower ones are looking like they are "angry" and the uppers are heading sideways.  Early in life for a kid to need them out but whatever.  The orthodontist sent a letter to a dental surgeon (too complicated for a regular dentist) and we would wait to hear back.  Well if I don't get a call 2 weeks later and an appointment in less than a week.  I don't know about anyone else but around here to get a call and then get in to a specialist in less than 3 weeks is nothing short of a miracle.

The caveat... $2300 due Wednesday morning.  No billing to the insurance company first, cash on the dash thank-you.

I think that I should get $800 from my insurance and I will bill the x half of the $2300 so 1150 - 800 = 350 when the dust clears in a month or two.  But still need it up front.

Luckily my credit card balance is 0. 

I think and I hope that we are done with funerals for awhile.  This business of driving all day, come home, do laundry, repack and drive again wiped me right out last week.  $45 clothes for kid #3, $300 in gas, $130 hotel, $30 dry cleaning, $50 eating out.  Not in the agenda but what can you do?

More than my wallet, my heart can't take anymore.  I don't know if I even ate 2000 calories all last week.  Grieving, the stress of my mother, my perfect idiot sibling, so many people around (my family members funeral had 350 people) it was hard to handle. 

We've made a point to have quiet family time at home.  I'm making our favorite roast tonight and a pie made this morning.  Comfort food for us.  The kids have all talked about the way they feel over the losses and I think they are doing well.  My little ones teachers are such caring and loving people.  They have given him lots of love and support over the last couple of weeks.

The Good Things...
My little family
Wonderful teachers
Money in the rainy day fund so that I don't stress when things like this come up
Carla's bread recipe that is now all my kids will eat! (hate store bought!)

Things that suck...
wisdom teeth
even when your brain understands that everybody has to die someday, that ache that sits in your heart and the tears that roll regardless.