It is almost my 5 year anniversary...of being mortgage free!!
I am also debt free, zero balance owing to anyone.
Because my salary is only part time I don't have a lot of money left at the end of the month. Property taxes, utilities, licence plates for my car and I still pay for kid#2's car plates monthly.
Last year after my bank fiasco and over contribution to my RRSP's, I don't think I will have anything to top up. I do plan to add to my TFSA. I won't max it, but hope to do $10,000 this year.
So finances are actually mundane, in a very good way. What hasn't been mundane is the rest of my life. Health has been a roller coaster, mental health has been something else as well.
Totally change of topic ahead but still a Monster that I need to slay:
There was a horrible incident with a friend's child this past fall. The child is safe now, and getting help. It was a huge trigger for me. I too was 10 years old when repeatedly sexually assaulted by my cousin. He was 5 years older, 100lbs heavier and he threatened me to never tell. So I didn't, until this fall. 37 years later. I have told my husband and 1 friend, and now internet strangers. Because it is easier here in the safety of my home to type it out than say it out loud. I've been coming to terms with what happened, not really, but I've at least got it out of me. Between him and the abuse I had at the hands of my parents, what a messed up kid and then adult I have become.
I will, at this point never tell my parents. Why? Because they will say I deserved it, or I am lying. Besides, he is a saint that can never do wrong. He was fired TWICE for embezzling from his last 2 employers. But "That can't be true! He could never do that!" Well, once maybe, twice, the asshole did it.
And "his dad doesn't treat him very good you know". All of this because "They were so lucky to adopt a boy!" What a dream come true to my dad. A son. My parental units fall all over themselves when he is around. "He's so smart". (Dropped out of community college). "He's making so much money!" (Probably stealing it)
This cousin doesn't show up at any functions I am at. Which is a great thing. My parents pulled a shit fit when I didn't invite him and his wife and daughters to my wedding. I had to make huge adjustments to a very crowded reception to have the golden boy and his family at a table. His wife responded that they would attend. Then 2 days before my wedding there was a sporting event for their daughter that they couldn't miss. Asshole cost me $125 for not showing up. Not reimbursed by my parents because if the golden nephew couldn't attend, well then they knew it was VERY important. Truth be told that bastard can't look me in the eye. That's why.
I'm not sure why, today, I need to throw this out there. But today I'm sick of this dirty little secret festering and eating a hole in my soul. Some day I will need to tell my boys. Someday I need to talk to a counsellor.
Not ready today.
The good things:
Sun is shining
I'm financially fine
I love my children
Things that suck:
The parental units
My childhood
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Monday, October 31, 2016
What is new...
What is new?
Everything, and nothing.
I have been rolling along with my part time job. I work 3 days a week. For the last year that has been all that i can handle. I have been exhausted. Not just tired, but lay in bed, every muscle in my body aches, too tired to sit in a chair tired. I've had bouts of this before and went to my doc, saying I must have low thyroid, or some sort of problem. I get bloodwork and it comes back with elevated RA (rheumatoid antigen) and high cholesterol. I've also kept on weight, even though I don't eat. Too tired. Zero ability to concentrate, activity leaving me stiff and sore for days.
Finally in July I went for more bloodwork as I could honestly barely be functional. My doc phoned and low and behold "your thyroid has quit". So I started on medication the end of July. I can say that I am finally feeling better now after 3 months.
I'm still tired but I can stay awake until 10 pm. I've lost 5 pounds, changing nothing in my diet or activity. So I guess pills are working.
The kids are doing ok. My oldest is home and it has been a pleasant change. He is in a "rough area" school for an internship and has an appreciation of the effort I gave to give my kids a nice home, with clothes and toys and extra curricular activities.
The middle kid is off to University 6 hours away. He's struggling in his courses. Not because he's not smart, but he's in a couple of courses that you needed background in. He doesn't have it. I told him that I didn't agree with his choices for classes. But as always, I'm an idiot who knows nothing about him or the real world. Have at it then buddy. He has my full support but not financially. He got a student loan that I will reimburse if he passes his classes. I work too hard to throw away my money. He has always been the kid that is fiercely independant. I admire that in him now, it was a lot to handle and keep him safe from himself when he was little!
My little one is great, loving school, busy with friends and sports. He did some camps over the summer that have made him think he should be a veterinarian. I'm all for it!
I changed banks a couple of months ago. I got so pissed off with an idiot teller that wouldn't cash a cheque. It was an RESP payout for my oldest from the CST foundation. It was a big kerfuffle with this very patronizing tone given by a 20 year old that did not know what an RESP was! Then the cherry on top was when she took the cheque to the manager and the manager wouldn't get his ass off of his chair 30 feet away to even talk to me! He wasn't on the phone as he was able to speak freely with the dingbat, and nobody was in his office. See Ya!! I will go to a bank that doesn't give me a pissy face when I bring them money. I went back the next day and pulled all of my accounts. The manager phoned me that day after I pulled out $40 k. It must have been a misunderstanding, blah, blah blah. I said if you are going to "sit on your ass for $6000, then you are not the person I want overseeing my money". "I should have talked to you ". Yes you should have. You are a day late. Good bye.
I qualify for a $300 deposit into my savings from my new bank for switching over. And I love their app for my phone! Super easy to track investments and my credit card. And the Manager of the branch came to talk to me and thanked me for using their services.
That's all for today, I have a ton of errands to run.
Then get ready for Tricks and treats!
Good things:
Great kids
$300 cash
Things that suck:
Changing banking information
Everything, and nothing.
I have been rolling along with my part time job. I work 3 days a week. For the last year that has been all that i can handle. I have been exhausted. Not just tired, but lay in bed, every muscle in my body aches, too tired to sit in a chair tired. I've had bouts of this before and went to my doc, saying I must have low thyroid, or some sort of problem. I get bloodwork and it comes back with elevated RA (rheumatoid antigen) and high cholesterol. I've also kept on weight, even though I don't eat. Too tired. Zero ability to concentrate, activity leaving me stiff and sore for days.
Finally in July I went for more bloodwork as I could honestly barely be functional. My doc phoned and low and behold "your thyroid has quit". So I started on medication the end of July. I can say that I am finally feeling better now after 3 months.
I'm still tired but I can stay awake until 10 pm. I've lost 5 pounds, changing nothing in my diet or activity. So I guess pills are working.
The kids are doing ok. My oldest is home and it has been a pleasant change. He is in a "rough area" school for an internship and has an appreciation of the effort I gave to give my kids a nice home, with clothes and toys and extra curricular activities.
The middle kid is off to University 6 hours away. He's struggling in his courses. Not because he's not smart, but he's in a couple of courses that you needed background in. He doesn't have it. I told him that I didn't agree with his choices for classes. But as always, I'm an idiot who knows nothing about him or the real world. Have at it then buddy. He has my full support but not financially. He got a student loan that I will reimburse if he passes his classes. I work too hard to throw away my money. He has always been the kid that is fiercely independant. I admire that in him now, it was a lot to handle and keep him safe from himself when he was little!
My little one is great, loving school, busy with friends and sports. He did some camps over the summer that have made him think he should be a veterinarian. I'm all for it!
I changed banks a couple of months ago. I got so pissed off with an idiot teller that wouldn't cash a cheque. It was an RESP payout for my oldest from the CST foundation. It was a big kerfuffle with this very patronizing tone given by a 20 year old that did not know what an RESP was! Then the cherry on top was when she took the cheque to the manager and the manager wouldn't get his ass off of his chair 30 feet away to even talk to me! He wasn't on the phone as he was able to speak freely with the dingbat, and nobody was in his office. See Ya!! I will go to a bank that doesn't give me a pissy face when I bring them money. I went back the next day and pulled all of my accounts. The manager phoned me that day after I pulled out $40 k. It must have been a misunderstanding, blah, blah blah. I said if you are going to "sit on your ass for $6000, then you are not the person I want overseeing my money". "I should have talked to you ". Yes you should have. You are a day late. Good bye.
I qualify for a $300 deposit into my savings from my new bank for switching over. And I love their app for my phone! Super easy to track investments and my credit card. And the Manager of the branch came to talk to me and thanked me for using their services.
That's all for today, I have a ton of errands to run.
Then get ready for Tricks and treats!
Good things:
Great kids
$300 cash
Things that suck:
Changing banking information
Monday, June 20, 2016
"You Taught Him Well Mom"
Things are rolling along, forever changing.
I continue to be a part-time employee, working 3 days a week. To be honest, some weeks thats all there is for me to do. As projects get completed there is a lull between that I sometimes have to hunt for things to do to keep busy. Not a bad thing, I'm not used to it is all.
Kid 1 returned to the nest as finding out 2.5 months without a job makes it very difficult to pay rent.
When he moved home, before he moved in we had a "Come to Jesus" meeting. I laid out expectations and conditions that I had, and if he couldn't live with them, he could live elsewhere.
Turns out he did mature in the 8 months of living with a landlord and roommates. A much cleaner, neater and considerate version of himself. After a long job hunt he landed a decent $18.75 an hour for the rest of the summer. After 3 weeks, he's tanned, broken in his steel toed boots and put some callouses on his hands.
His car however was a problem. Fully paid for, but killing him with repair bills every month and then it was something new each week! A piece of junk. I had bought him new tires in the fall (I could't sleep when the snow started, worried non-stop about him driving!). Then for Christmas a gift was a CAA membership so that he could get that stupid car towed to the garage when it quit on him.
He's been looking for something else since March and this past weekend found a gem at a local dealership. Exactly what he wanted.
For the last 5-6 years anytime I had kid expenses that the x had to split the cost with me, I put what he paid me into a separate account. So essentially I paid for the full amount and put his contribution into savings. I also added into it anything that the older 2 had to pay me back for. School amounts that were too big for the credit card, trips for kid 2 etc. I have built up this account to several thousand. Out of this account I helped with a substantial down payment. Then at the dealership my kid had to apply for a small loan. I was there to be a co-signer if necessary. The finance person was asking all of the regular questions about place of residence, existing monthly payments, then credit card. My kid has had a credit card for 3 years, they have upped his limit twice, but his card balance at the end of every month is ZERO. The finance man stopped writing and clarified if he used his card. "Yes, but I never buy more than I have cash on hand and I never carry a balance. My Mom said to never get into debt with a credit card"
He looked at my son and told him that he never hears that from people his age, he is being very smart with his money.
Because he has only been full time for less than a month, the finance person thought it wise to have my information available for the loan submission.
The usual questions, then house value, then who holds your mortgage? Nobody.
"Wow, I don't hear that very often".
In the end, he was accepted on his own credit information, mine not required. The handshake at the end of the deal was "You taught him well Mom"
He ended up selling his old clunker privately the very next day for $1200 more than the dealer would give on trade. Then he kijiji'd other things he had laying around. Payments are covered for many months!
The loan has no pre-payment penalties. He graduates from university next April, god willing there is a job waiting. At least he can drive himself to work with a reliable set of wheels!
I continue to be a part-time employee, working 3 days a week. To be honest, some weeks thats all there is for me to do. As projects get completed there is a lull between that I sometimes have to hunt for things to do to keep busy. Not a bad thing, I'm not used to it is all.
Kid 1 returned to the nest as finding out 2.5 months without a job makes it very difficult to pay rent.
When he moved home, before he moved in we had a "Come to Jesus" meeting. I laid out expectations and conditions that I had, and if he couldn't live with them, he could live elsewhere.
Turns out he did mature in the 8 months of living with a landlord and roommates. A much cleaner, neater and considerate version of himself. After a long job hunt he landed a decent $18.75 an hour for the rest of the summer. After 3 weeks, he's tanned, broken in his steel toed boots and put some callouses on his hands.
His car however was a problem. Fully paid for, but killing him with repair bills every month and then it was something new each week! A piece of junk. I had bought him new tires in the fall (I could't sleep when the snow started, worried non-stop about him driving!). Then for Christmas a gift was a CAA membership so that he could get that stupid car towed to the garage when it quit on him.
He's been looking for something else since March and this past weekend found a gem at a local dealership. Exactly what he wanted.
For the last 5-6 years anytime I had kid expenses that the x had to split the cost with me, I put what he paid me into a separate account. So essentially I paid for the full amount and put his contribution into savings. I also added into it anything that the older 2 had to pay me back for. School amounts that were too big for the credit card, trips for kid 2 etc. I have built up this account to several thousand. Out of this account I helped with a substantial down payment. Then at the dealership my kid had to apply for a small loan. I was there to be a co-signer if necessary. The finance person was asking all of the regular questions about place of residence, existing monthly payments, then credit card. My kid has had a credit card for 3 years, they have upped his limit twice, but his card balance at the end of every month is ZERO. The finance man stopped writing and clarified if he used his card. "Yes, but I never buy more than I have cash on hand and I never carry a balance. My Mom said to never get into debt with a credit card"
He looked at my son and told him that he never hears that from people his age, he is being very smart with his money.
Because he has only been full time for less than a month, the finance person thought it wise to have my information available for the loan submission.
The usual questions, then house value, then who holds your mortgage? Nobody.
"Wow, I don't hear that very often".
In the end, he was accepted on his own credit information, mine not required. The handshake at the end of the deal was "You taught him well Mom"
He ended up selling his old clunker privately the very next day for $1200 more than the dealer would give on trade. Then he kijiji'd other things he had laying around. Payments are covered for many months!
The loan has no pre-payment penalties. He graduates from university next April, god willing there is a job waiting. At least he can drive himself to work with a reliable set of wheels!
The good things: first day of summer!
Sun shining
A little nest of pretty warblers off my deck
Feeling more like my old self some days (after 5 years)
Things that suck: some bugs ate every single leaf off my rose bush!
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
Turbo Tax. You aren't that Good
So the near $3000 that was nowhere to be found was found.
There was a pension adjustment of my employer that I had no idea would affect my RRSP limit. Apparently Turbo Tax (even though they have a box to fill this number in - and I did) hasn't a hot clue either. The nice lady from Revenue Canada that spent 20 minutes reviewing my submission found it. Now I am very aware for my RRSP limit for next year!
So, Turbo Tax the paid online version sucks. The new "free for students" sucks so bad it is almost unusable. I will be using something else next year!
So although the bank was tardy and unorganized, they did not cause the error.
Obviously my expectations are too high. And I've been told that before.
I shall lower the bar and embrace mediocrity.
Close enough
Meh
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Its Been 4 Years Without a Mortgage!
Hi,
I have kinda slid under the rug for a long time now. I would love to say that I am rolling in money since my $850 every 2 weeks could go elsewhere...
Well here's the deal:
I'm working half time. No overtime, no marathon stretches. That equals no extra money!
I stopped my monthly contributions to RRSP's and TFSA's in June. I will be able to max out the rrsp's this year again with my savings. The TFSA's will take a back seat for a bit.
We went on a fabulous vacation last June for a week. We went on a fabulous vacation for a week last month. We are going away for 4 days now, and have 2 other long weekends booked.
My kids 1 and 2 are doing their own thing. Not cool to travel with us! Kid 2 did a 6 week tropical "volunteer work" placement. Kid 1 prefers sporting event weekends.
As it turns out I prefer to lay under a big umbrella beside the ocean, reading a great book and drinking tequila's! The DH likes to golf and kid 3 likes to snorkel!
Winners all around!!
That is where the mortgage money is going... Self / family investment. We already know that the hot holiday next January will be TWO weeks instead of 1.
Our bills are the same as 4 years ago, except for groceries! Our monthly is about $700-800 and that is nothing fancy and almost always only 3 of us eating!
We did buy a new vehicle, but I don't make the payments, so I don't count it as debt. The income remains separate for the dh and I and with the help of Gail Vaz Oxlade's blog we do a percentage payment of bills. (And I pay for any costs for my older 2 kids. Which is not too bad as they both work and go to school.)
The peace and freedom from not having $1700+ a month payments is as good as I hoped. The money is not in abundance, but I'm not working like a madwoman either. It's a great trade off!
The Good Things:
Great new boss
Part time hours
Vacations
Things that Suck:
I really need a diet and exercise program
Lack of health and energy for above
I have kinda slid under the rug for a long time now. I would love to say that I am rolling in money since my $850 every 2 weeks could go elsewhere...
Well here's the deal:
I'm working half time. No overtime, no marathon stretches. That equals no extra money!
I stopped my monthly contributions to RRSP's and TFSA's in June. I will be able to max out the rrsp's this year again with my savings. The TFSA's will take a back seat for a bit.
We went on a fabulous vacation last June for a week. We went on a fabulous vacation for a week last month. We are going away for 4 days now, and have 2 other long weekends booked.
My kids 1 and 2 are doing their own thing. Not cool to travel with us! Kid 2 did a 6 week tropical "volunteer work" placement. Kid 1 prefers sporting event weekends.
As it turns out I prefer to lay under a big umbrella beside the ocean, reading a great book and drinking tequila's! The DH likes to golf and kid 3 likes to snorkel!
Winners all around!!
That is where the mortgage money is going... Self / family investment. We already know that the hot holiday next January will be TWO weeks instead of 1.
Our bills are the same as 4 years ago, except for groceries! Our monthly is about $700-800 and that is nothing fancy and almost always only 3 of us eating!
We did buy a new vehicle, but I don't make the payments, so I don't count it as debt. The income remains separate for the dh and I and with the help of Gail Vaz Oxlade's blog we do a percentage payment of bills. (And I pay for any costs for my older 2 kids. Which is not too bad as they both work and go to school.)
The peace and freedom from not having $1700+ a month payments is as good as I hoped. The money is not in abundance, but I'm not working like a madwoman either. It's a great trade off!
The Good Things:
Great new boss
Part time hours
Vacations
Things that Suck:
I really need a diet and exercise program
Lack of health and energy for above
Monday, August 24, 2015
When Your World Turns Upsidedown
The last month has been spent trying to keep my head out of the water. I quit my job. Tried to go back to my previous one, my injury is too bad and I can't. I am working only half time. Fighting with insurance, fighting with administrators, my family in crisis, one of my kids in crisis.
So when the bottom fell out I had to simplify things. Get a handle on income: use up vacation, OT and sick time. Get a handle on spending: stop automatic savings, stop spending.
Because I'm kinda nutso about having a rediculous big balance in my chequing I haven't touched the Emergency fund. 15k if I need it.
The monthly must pays:
Property taxes
Utilities: power, natural gas, water, phone*, cable*
Car plates
The monthly variable:
Food*
Kid activities (swimming lessons, hockey)*
* = a portion of this is paid by the spouse
Money does not buy happiness, but it will buy some peace of mind that your basic needs will be met. My part time pay covers expenses - barely, often I dig into the previous excess in my account.
I finally got in for counselling, she actually disputed that I am an asshole mom like I believe I am. I am doing many things right although I doubt myself. I'm still married, but bareley I think some days.
You can only help yourself and you can only guide your children. At least my dog listens sometimes.
Health breakdown is huge in a family. I have been the provider for the last 13 years. I physically can not do it now. There is no one that is willing to step up to the plate.
I'm in a fortunate position in that I have zero debt, and have extensive savings. But there is not an infinite amount.
My oldest is moving out, going to University for 2 more years, my middle staying put and trying to get into university, and my little one still in elementary and happy and loving life. Trying to not let any of this flying bs affect my little one.
I don't have family support emotionally or financially. (Nothing new) Thankfully I have some dear friends that I can lean on to lend an ear and send some prayers. I've always been my own rock to stand on.
I don't have a long term plan. I don't even have a plan that goes past next week! Just trying to roll with the punches.
There are more budget cuts ahead. I've been in way worse financial shape and managed to come out ok. Just need to keep it together. Enjoy moments and not get overwhelmed.
Tying a knot and holding on....
So when the bottom fell out I had to simplify things. Get a handle on income: use up vacation, OT and sick time. Get a handle on spending: stop automatic savings, stop spending.
Because I'm kinda nutso about having a rediculous big balance in my chequing I haven't touched the Emergency fund. 15k if I need it.
The monthly must pays:
Property taxes
Utilities: power, natural gas, water, phone*, cable*
Car plates
The monthly variable:
Food*
Kid activities (swimming lessons, hockey)*
* = a portion of this is paid by the spouse
Money does not buy happiness, but it will buy some peace of mind that your basic needs will be met. My part time pay covers expenses - barely, often I dig into the previous excess in my account.
I finally got in for counselling, she actually disputed that I am an asshole mom like I believe I am. I am doing many things right although I doubt myself. I'm still married, but bareley I think some days.
You can only help yourself and you can only guide your children. At least my dog listens sometimes.
Health breakdown is huge in a family. I have been the provider for the last 13 years. I physically can not do it now. There is no one that is willing to step up to the plate.
I'm in a fortunate position in that I have zero debt, and have extensive savings. But there is not an infinite amount.
My oldest is moving out, going to University for 2 more years, my middle staying put and trying to get into university, and my little one still in elementary and happy and loving life. Trying to not let any of this flying bs affect my little one.
I don't have family support emotionally or financially. (Nothing new) Thankfully I have some dear friends that I can lean on to lend an ear and send some prayers. I've always been my own rock to stand on.
I don't have a long term plan. I don't even have a plan that goes past next week! Just trying to roll with the punches.
There are more budget cuts ahead. I've been in way worse financial shape and managed to come out ok. Just need to keep it together. Enjoy moments and not get overwhelmed.
Tying a knot and holding on....
Saturday, March 28, 2015
Long Time no Posts but Good Stuff Today!
So I dropped off for a long while. I've been very depressed, been through massive change with my work situation and have a new injury that has really set me back.
I await to see the orthopaedic surgeon and find out if I need surgery or more physio.
I have increased my work hours to 3/4 time from half time, and I have left my previous employer of 24 years. It has been a big change.
Some good things are a very short commute, very easy physically, better hours, same pay. Some not good things are very low job satisfaction, I miss my colleagues and I miss my routine.
That's the employment story.
The debt story... well at least that is a happy one!
We had put car and truck purchase on line of credit (This was up to the spouse to pay off - not me) and as of this week it is FINISHED!
We owe nothing - to anyone!
I have been updating my own and our joint net worth and we are in a very good position.
I have a full emergency fund. I have maxed out my RRSP's. I have a savings account for house improvement and any crap that happens. I will use this for the new A/C unit we need before summer, any car expenses, other crap that pops up. I have a Vacation account so that the trips for this year are already funded. I also have RESP's ready to go for both kids #1 and 2 this fall.
We have some vacation scheduled in a couple months and in the fall for our 10th anniversary. We are also going to do a warm holiday in the winter and a ski trip to the mountains. That is going to be the priority. Vacations!
My kid #2 graduates from high school this June and will go to University.
Kid #1 is still in University but hopes to get into a college to get his Major finished in 2 years.
Kid #3 is still very active in sports and so that takes up 4-5 days a week. My new hours accommodate this without a problem.
Somewhere in there is some "Me" time. With the weather warming, more days off and less physical strain at work I hope to be feeling better. Both out of this funk and getting into better physical condition.
The Good Things:
Income tax returns are very good again this year because of my RRSP deductions
I'm at least not making my injuries worse at work anymore
I have great hours
Things That Suck:
My family are a bunch losers (unchanged)
Spring is taking forever
Groceries cost too much!
I await to see the orthopaedic surgeon and find out if I need surgery or more physio.
I have increased my work hours to 3/4 time from half time, and I have left my previous employer of 24 years. It has been a big change.
Some good things are a very short commute, very easy physically, better hours, same pay. Some not good things are very low job satisfaction, I miss my colleagues and I miss my routine.
That's the employment story.
The debt story... well at least that is a happy one!
- Mortgage free since Feb 2012
We had put car and truck purchase on line of credit (This was up to the spouse to pay off - not me) and as of this week it is FINISHED!
I have been updating my own and our joint net worth and we are in a very good position.
I have a full emergency fund. I have maxed out my RRSP's. I have a savings account for house improvement and any crap that happens. I will use this for the new A/C unit we need before summer, any car expenses, other crap that pops up. I have a Vacation account so that the trips for this year are already funded. I also have RESP's ready to go for both kids #1 and 2 this fall.
We have some vacation scheduled in a couple months and in the fall for our 10th anniversary. We are also going to do a warm holiday in the winter and a ski trip to the mountains. That is going to be the priority. Vacations!
My kid #2 graduates from high school this June and will go to University.
Kid #1 is still in University but hopes to get into a college to get his Major finished in 2 years.
Kid #3 is still very active in sports and so that takes up 4-5 days a week. My new hours accommodate this without a problem.
Somewhere in there is some "Me" time. With the weather warming, more days off and less physical strain at work I hope to be feeling better. Both out of this funk and getting into better physical condition.
The Good Things:
Income tax returns are very good again this year because of my RRSP deductions
I'm at least not making my injuries worse at work anymore
I have great hours
Things That Suck:
My family are a bunch losers (unchanged)
Spring is taking forever
Groceries cost too much!
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