The last month has been spent trying to keep my head out of the water. I quit my job. Tried to go back to my previous one, my injury is too bad and I can't. I am working only half time. Fighting with insurance, fighting with administrators, my family in crisis, one of my kids in crisis.
So when the bottom fell out I had to simplify things. Get a handle on income: use up vacation, OT and sick time. Get a handle on spending: stop automatic savings, stop spending.
Because I'm kinda nutso about having a rediculous big balance in my chequing I haven't touched the Emergency fund. 15k if I need it.
The monthly must pays:
Property taxes
Utilities: power, natural gas, water, phone*, cable*
Car plates
The monthly variable:
Food*
Kid activities (swimming lessons, hockey)*
* = a portion of this is paid by the spouse
Money does not buy happiness, but it will buy some peace of mind that your basic needs will be met. My part time pay covers expenses - barely, often I dig into the previous excess in my account.
I finally got in for counselling, she actually disputed that I am an asshole mom like I believe I am. I am doing many things right although I doubt myself. I'm still married, but bareley I think some days.
You can only help yourself and you can only guide your children. At least my dog listens sometimes.
Health breakdown is huge in a family. I have been the provider for the last 13 years. I physically can not do it now. There is no one that is willing to step up to the plate.
I'm in a fortunate position in that I have zero debt, and have extensive savings. But there is not an infinite amount.
My oldest is moving out, going to University for 2 more years, my middle staying put and trying to get into university, and my little one still in elementary and happy and loving life. Trying to not let any of this flying bs affect my little one.
I don't have family support emotionally or financially. (Nothing new) Thankfully I have some dear friends that I can lean on to lend an ear and send some prayers. I've always been my own rock to stand on.
I don't have a long term plan. I don't even have a plan that goes past next week! Just trying to roll with the punches.
There are more budget cuts ahead. I've been in way worse financial shape and managed to come out ok. Just need to keep it together. Enjoy moments and not get overwhelmed.
Tying a knot and holding on....
5 comments:
Sorry to hear this and it sounds like your spouse does not have your back.
Do what you need to do for your sanity and your physical health.
I bet you are glad you paid the house of 3 years ago, huh?
You'll get through this.....
I'm so sorry - for everything you are going through right now. What would be helpful that you can do today? Make a list of your options? Building a prioritized list of what you & your kids need & figuring out what it would take to get there?
Big hugs to you. It sounds like a very challenging situation - emotionally & financially.
I have a list made, and I have my own back. Unfortunately I will need a surgical fix, and horray Canada, a 5-12 month wait for that, then 9+ month recovery.
Whats worse than my decrepid body getting hurt is trying to parent, be a wife while feeling like this. No wonder everything is in the crapper.
I'm going to try and work an extra 2 shifts a month once school starts. I have been given modified duties but fortunately because of my previous project I have lots of skills needed. Plus the training of others that I can do. I'm taking it one day at a time, one sleepless night after another.
Things should get better...
Hi B-Kat! I'm very sorry to hear about your injury and its effect on your career and family. It's times like these that you really need family support - is there anyone you can reach out to for support? Like you I've had to be my own support over the years so I know how hard that is, especially when you're in pain. Keep blogging if you can so that we can be there for you as a sounding board. HUGS!!
Sending Love and Support.
Please keep blogging if for no other reason then to have an outlet for all that you are going through.
Hugs - DTN
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