Merry Christmas everyone!
I am about a week behind in life, but it is all good! We had a wonderful hot holiday and returned to 2 days of frenzy before Christmas.
I go back to work tomorrow. Not something I'm looking forward too.
My doctor wants me to find another job. One that will take me to age 55 and then early retirement.
I'm looking and looking....
The parental units stopped at our house for 63 minutes on the 24th. (That brings the 2017 year visit total to 63 minutes hahaha! In May they said on the evening before my birthday they would be over to see me in the morning for coffee. They never showed up.).
Of course they were in a huge rush to get to see the Golden sibling and the grandkids that matter so "We have to get going". My fathers phone was constantly dinging with texts from the princess. My little guy saw them from where he was sitting. "When are you getting here? Where are you?" Etc. Etc.
It was fine that they left. They asked 2 questions about our trip and then proceeded to go on the stupidest political and racist rants for an hour. So hard to listen to and you can't have a conversation as all they want is a platform to blather their nonsense.
When you are uneducated and closed minded and obnoxious about your opinions I don't want to be around you and I don't want my youngest around that.
I want no part of the shit show.
After they left my youngest said "Mom, they don't know anything about us". No, they don't and they don't want to either.
Not everyone gets a great family, or a family that cares. I try really hard to do better with my kids all of the time.
Like I said before, I've been cutting the garbage out of my life. All but 63 minutes of 2017.
Many friends and family members have distanced themselves or ended their relationship with my parents since my grandma died. At least the constant bragging about how they are millionaires has all but ceased. Who knows, its probably all spent, or used to pay off some of the hundreds of thousands of debt that the princess has.
Not my circus. Not my monkeys. This is my mantra.
We did have a fantastic vacation though and I know that my heart is at peace when I sit by the ocean. I will be socking away all extra pennies to go every chance I can.
We also went to see some of my family that I haven't seen since I was small. They are lovely people. It was nice to feel cared about and have conversations about things we shared interest in and learn about them and their lives. So much laughter and fun.
We were all invited back again and would love to go.
Travel is where my savings will go.
Now to plan my west coast trip!!!
The good things...
My children
My improving relationship with the dh
My very extended family
Having no debt
Happy New year! And here's hoping for better things ahead for all of us!!!
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
Monday, December 4, 2017
December and ending 2017. Thank God.
Today isn't a momentous day, just another day. I do miss blogging sometimes. I'm a different person now. Same face in the mirror, just changed inside.
I've been through some hell on earth. I'm still here. Weary and scarred and broken.
Change has become constant. New people, places and things in our life. I've cut out the garbage people. People that don't value me or my family. Health changes, surgeries. I don't have the strength for the negative anymore.
I've had a lot of counselling in the last year. Guess what? I can't do it all! I can't be all things to all people! I take responsibility for only myself and hold others accountable for their own actions.
Holding others accountable for themselves has pissed off a few people. Stop playing a victim/martyr. Poor choices and poor decisions do not equal a huge pity party.
Behaviour/actions show your priorities and intent, not words.
It's sad but we've all become very wary of people now. We have boundaries in place and enforce them.
There will also be a hell storm of epic proportions if you hurt one of my kids.
I am not in any way comparable to either of my parents. (Which is one of my greatest accomplishments!!) this should go in my list of positives...and in my resume and euology.
There are some positives:
Our little family is tight. The 5 of us have clung together through some rough times.
Our finances are not a worry.
We've been able to travel a bit more this year and have found great enjoyment in new experiences.
We are heading south to get out of the cold for a couple of weeks.
If our health permits; a ski trip in the rockies again Feb or March
Next summer we have a west coast visit ( in the planning stages).
Next winter tbd but it will be somewhere warm again.
2019 will be my Scotland trip for my 50th.
Financials:
Working part time.
Investing in TFSA's to max out this year.
RRSP's maxed out
Paying with credit card for all purchases and paying off in full every month to get points.
Keeping my non-trackable cash to $80 per month. (Always seems to buy a little hockey player post game smoothies!)
Take care everyone.
I've been through some hell on earth. I'm still here. Weary and scarred and broken.
Change has become constant. New people, places and things in our life. I've cut out the garbage people. People that don't value me or my family. Health changes, surgeries. I don't have the strength for the negative anymore.
I've had a lot of counselling in the last year. Guess what? I can't do it all! I can't be all things to all people! I take responsibility for only myself and hold others accountable for their own actions.
Holding others accountable for themselves has pissed off a few people. Stop playing a victim/martyr. Poor choices and poor decisions do not equal a huge pity party.
Behaviour/actions show your priorities and intent, not words.
It's sad but we've all become very wary of people now. We have boundaries in place and enforce them.
There will also be a hell storm of epic proportions if you hurt one of my kids.
I am not in any way comparable to either of my parents. (Which is one of my greatest accomplishments!!) this should go in my list of positives...and in my resume and euology.
There are some positives:
Our little family is tight. The 5 of us have clung together through some rough times.
Our finances are not a worry.
We've been able to travel a bit more this year and have found great enjoyment in new experiences.
We are heading south to get out of the cold for a couple of weeks.
If our health permits; a ski trip in the rockies again Feb or March
Next summer we have a west coast visit ( in the planning stages).
Next winter tbd but it will be somewhere warm again.
2019 will be my Scotland trip for my 50th.
Financials:
Working part time.
Investing in TFSA's to max out this year.
RRSP's maxed out
Paying with credit card for all purchases and paying off in full every month to get points.
Keeping my non-trackable cash to $80 per month. (Always seems to buy a little hockey player post game smoothies!)
Take care everyone.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
Update to a few things and off the topic of finances.
It is almost my 5 year anniversary...of being mortgage free!!
I am also debt free, zero balance owing to anyone.
Because my salary is only part time I don't have a lot of money left at the end of the month. Property taxes, utilities, licence plates for my car and I still pay for kid#2's car plates monthly.
Last year after my bank fiasco and over contribution to my RRSP's, I don't think I will have anything to top up. I do plan to add to my TFSA. I won't max it, but hope to do $10,000 this year.
So finances are actually mundane, in a very good way. What hasn't been mundane is the rest of my life. Health has been a roller coaster, mental health has been something else as well.
Totally change of topic ahead but still a Monster that I need to slay:
There was a horrible incident with a friend's child this past fall. The child is safe now, and getting help. It was a huge trigger for me. I too was 10 years old when repeatedly sexually assaulted by my cousin. He was 5 years older, 100lbs heavier and he threatened me to never tell. So I didn't, until this fall. 37 years later. I have told my husband and 1 friend, and now internet strangers. Because it is easier here in the safety of my home to type it out than say it out loud. I've been coming to terms with what happened, not really, but I've at least got it out of me. Between him and the abuse I had at the hands of my parents, what a messed up kid and then adult I have become.
I will, at this point never tell my parents. Why? Because they will say I deserved it, or I am lying. Besides, he is a saint that can never do wrong. He was fired TWICE for embezzling from his last 2 employers. But "That can't be true! He could never do that!" Well, once maybe, twice, the asshole did it.
And "his dad doesn't treat him very good you know". All of this because "They were so lucky to adopt a boy!" What a dream come true to my dad. A son. My parental units fall all over themselves when he is around. "He's so smart". (Dropped out of community college). "He's making so much money!" (Probably stealing it)
This cousin doesn't show up at any functions I am at. Which is a great thing. My parents pulled a shit fit when I didn't invite him and his wife and daughters to my wedding. I had to make huge adjustments to a very crowded reception to have the golden boy and his family at a table. His wife responded that they would attend. Then 2 days before my wedding there was a sporting event for their daughter that they couldn't miss. Asshole cost me $125 for not showing up. Not reimbursed by my parents because if the golden nephew couldn't attend, well then they knew it was VERY important. Truth be told that bastard can't look me in the eye. That's why.
I'm not sure why, today, I need to throw this out there. But today I'm sick of this dirty little secret festering and eating a hole in my soul. Some day I will need to tell my boys. Someday I need to talk to a counsellor.
Not ready today.
The good things:
Sun is shining
I'm financially fine
I love my children
Things that suck:
The parental units
My childhood
I am also debt free, zero balance owing to anyone.
Because my salary is only part time I don't have a lot of money left at the end of the month. Property taxes, utilities, licence plates for my car and I still pay for kid#2's car plates monthly.
Last year after my bank fiasco and over contribution to my RRSP's, I don't think I will have anything to top up. I do plan to add to my TFSA. I won't max it, but hope to do $10,000 this year.
So finances are actually mundane, in a very good way. What hasn't been mundane is the rest of my life. Health has been a roller coaster, mental health has been something else as well.
Totally change of topic ahead but still a Monster that I need to slay:
There was a horrible incident with a friend's child this past fall. The child is safe now, and getting help. It was a huge trigger for me. I too was 10 years old when repeatedly sexually assaulted by my cousin. He was 5 years older, 100lbs heavier and he threatened me to never tell. So I didn't, until this fall. 37 years later. I have told my husband and 1 friend, and now internet strangers. Because it is easier here in the safety of my home to type it out than say it out loud. I've been coming to terms with what happened, not really, but I've at least got it out of me. Between him and the abuse I had at the hands of my parents, what a messed up kid and then adult I have become.
I will, at this point never tell my parents. Why? Because they will say I deserved it, or I am lying. Besides, he is a saint that can never do wrong. He was fired TWICE for embezzling from his last 2 employers. But "That can't be true! He could never do that!" Well, once maybe, twice, the asshole did it.
And "his dad doesn't treat him very good you know". All of this because "They were so lucky to adopt a boy!" What a dream come true to my dad. A son. My parental units fall all over themselves when he is around. "He's so smart". (Dropped out of community college). "He's making so much money!" (Probably stealing it)
This cousin doesn't show up at any functions I am at. Which is a great thing. My parents pulled a shit fit when I didn't invite him and his wife and daughters to my wedding. I had to make huge adjustments to a very crowded reception to have the golden boy and his family at a table. His wife responded that they would attend. Then 2 days before my wedding there was a sporting event for their daughter that they couldn't miss. Asshole cost me $125 for not showing up. Not reimbursed by my parents because if the golden nephew couldn't attend, well then they knew it was VERY important. Truth be told that bastard can't look me in the eye. That's why.
I'm not sure why, today, I need to throw this out there. But today I'm sick of this dirty little secret festering and eating a hole in my soul. Some day I will need to tell my boys. Someday I need to talk to a counsellor.
Not ready today.
The good things:
Sun is shining
I'm financially fine
I love my children
Things that suck:
The parental units
My childhood
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