What a Pleasant Surprise!

So I gave my sibling the use of our car, dh and I drove hers to the garage, then I went with her to pick it up.  Luckily it needed only a reset of the little button.  Some sort of on star magic thing.  (Didn't sound or feel like only needing a reset to me)

When I drove our car back home - the gas tank was full!

I thanked my sister for that today as she did not use 1/2 a tank.  She in turn thanked me for what I have done for her and her kids. Said that it was the very least she could do for us. Shocker.

She is in serious debt, serious marital turmoil and in serious denial.  She won't quit spending money.  Each of her kids got an ipod, with a nice case, with insurance against everything.  That was over $1000 right there.  Plus clothes, toys, games and crafts.

I told her that she needs to stop spending money she doesn't have.  I told her that she needs counselling.  She says "I know" and does nothing.

What I fear is that she the idiot and the idiot she's married to will loose the house.  I fear that 3 little kids will have nowhere to live.  I fear that she will come to me with her hand out and I will say "NO".  I will tell her to sell some of her 6 pairs of black leather boots.  Stop spending over $1000 per month on dance lessons.  Stop getting her hair coloured something new every 6 weeks.  Stop with all of the purses.  Figure out necessities and go from there.

In the meantime what about her kids that already have problems?

The parental units have washed their hands of her and the 3 once precious and the only worth visiting grandchildren!  The once golden daughter has been kicked to the curb.  It is ridiculous what nasty people they are.  Now both retired, they have a huge, huge pile of money. Millionaires. They don't want the tarnished golden daughter to have a dime until they are dead.  And not like I was ever the shining star either.  They did increase the Xmas gift this year to $100 per person, double from last year.  But if grandparents don't want to spend Christmas with grandchildren is it still a lovely gift?  The parental units went away this weekend.  Grandma is better.  So the first thought is not to see grand kids.  That makes it 2 years in a row nothing to do with my kids at Christmas. 

 

I am finding it really hard to bite my tongue.  To take the high road.  The positive note is that I do know how I never want to be.

 

 

Maybe I'm the one that is abnormal? 

 

I am thankful that dh and I are doing really good.  In spite of family problems, injuries, job loss, we are on the same page.  Our kids are OK and our finances are OK.

 

We need a new roof in the spring, new tires for the suv, another semester for kid #1.  We have a plan and life goes on regardless.

 

 



The Best of Plans...

Things have been a bit of a  huge cluster since I hit enter on my last post. 

I had 2 loaves of bread in the oven and all of my cookie ingredients out on the counter, laundered bedding out of the dryer... phone call from my parents.  My Grandma's care home nurse just called and she had according to the Dr. a "Massive stroke and is unresponsive".

Long story short, at 6 pm Dec. 23rd I was on the road with my sibling for a one way 4 hour trip (that took 3.5).  My Grandma was very unwell but it was no stroke.  I don't know where these doc's get trained?  She had a grand mal siezure and was recovering.  Still not good but not what we were led to believe.

I was going to have my dh bring all of the kids (6) and 2 dogs and some food down but my parents literally had nothing in the fridge.  And 2 spare bedrooms were filled with mothers hoard.  Not going to work.  So that night at 2 am I said that we were going home the next afternoon.  My dh bought a lasagna from the store, a garlic bread and some romaine for a cesar salad.  Ta Da! Christmas eve will be served. The 5 of us and my sister and 3 kids. Instead of a lump of coal, I got to spend 10 hours of "alone travel time" with my sister.  Not go to church like I wanted, and not have any of the food I bought.  Next day for Christmas I pulled 2 roasts out of the freezer and we had them with potatoes and veggies. Again for the 5 of us and my sister and 3 kids.  She brought... nothing.  Oh yes, on the way home her fancy vehicle had the engine light come on and felt like the transmission was going.  So rather than have her and 3 kids stranded at -30 I gave her the use of our car.  Then yesterday I drove her suv to the shop with dh following me and she has our car.  I'm sure at any moment I will get a thank-you! For our car and providing 2 Christmas meals for her family.  I'm still waiting.

I would like a do-over.

My Grandma is much better today.  Walking short distances, eating and better oriented.  We (dh, myself and my kids) will go and visit in a week or so.

When I am feeling a little more in control of things we are going to have our Christmas meal on another day. 

Today I have to go into work for 45 min.  Not sure really how I'm getting there.  Dh may come home and get me and take kid #3 to his work.  My kids #1 and #2 are both working and spending this week with the x.

I am ready to wrap up 2012.  Scrunch it in a ball and throw it in the garbage really.

I'm not even going to ask what else can happen or how crappy can things get....

So the Good Things...
I have great, normal, nice, healthy kids
Grandma doing much better
I have 2 cars that work just fine
I am feeling healthy today
I got lovely gifts from the kids and dh
I have no mortgage and I have savings in the bank

Things that suck...
it is so cold it is ridiculous
my sibling the idiot ingrate
not the Christmas I hoped or planned on

Celebrating a Simple Christmas

Today I am getting some final touches done for Christmas.  The stocking stuffers are organized, the gifts are all wrapped and I'm making cookies and bread.

I have to go into work tomorrow for 45 min.  My boss is so nice (not).

My parental units will come tomorrow.  If history repeats (this will be the third time) they will arrive when the food is on the table.  So should the sibling and her 3 kids. So 5:30 is what I'm preparing for.

Whatever.  My oldest has to work until 5 so it suits me.

I'm pretty happy with the fact that I'm not overdoing it this year.  I've killed myself cleaning and baking and decorating for so many years and for what?  My kids like things simple, the dh's ocd can't handle the extra decorations and the mess and the parents are only here for a couple of hours and don't appreciate anything.  So this year is relaxed, I'm looking forward to quiet days of reading and kids around.  A couple batches of cookies that they love.  It's all good.

This year I'm not stretching my money to the brink getting ready for the final mortgage pay down.  I have some in the bank and am more worried about savings and retirement funds and vacation funds.

The mortgage freedom didn't bring a wild exciting new way to live.  It brought simple, calm and relaxed.  The pressure off of me has been a gift.

I give thanks for that.  I am grateful for what I have.  I'm grateful for what I can give.

2013 holds challenges of new jobs for both dh and I.  I am still working to recover from my injury.  The blessing of being mortgage free has taken off so much stress.

I hope that Christmas is a wonderful time for all of those that read here!

My little #3 is 6 years old.  This past October he told me about what they had practiced in school that day... "We did a lock down Mommy".  The day before there had been a suspicious person seen a couple of blocks from the school, police were called but no one ever found.  I cried later because I thought about what a sad world this is. How my little one, that is still my baby sweetheart is doing a lock down drill! His teacher had them all hide in the class, the door was locked, paper over the door window and blinds were drawn.  He said that his teacher cried when they asked what they should do if they were in the washroom and came back to find the door locked.  She told them where to go and hide.  She told them that she was going to protect them and keep them safe.

They also started locking all but the front door of the school. (Huge pain in the butt when it is -25 degrees and I have to walk the whole way around to get in) 

I'm crying again thinking about it.  At the time I thought it was a case of over reacting by the school.  I thought that it was scaring the kids.  I mean really?!  This is Canada, I live in the suburbs, people need to relax.


Know what?  I would rather that I froze to death than some wicked person slip in the side door.  I want my little one to know where to hide and be safe.  It's obscene and disgusting what has become to this world.

My heart aches for the children, families and teachers of Newtown.


There is nothing else I have right now that matters.  Money and jobs are just that.  Money and jobs.

I am blessed to have my little family that I love.

Getting into christmas mode

10 people bought for and 4 to go...

I'm finished my parents and the outlaws with hubs and the kids left.  I know what I'm getting the kids but I'm pretty stumped with dh.  He has given me a couple of ideas but to be honest I don't like them.

He's hard to buy for.  Then apparently, so am I. (Not true, I like lots of things)

I did an intervention on my investments.  I have some high risk RRSP's that were on a downward slide.  I pulled them out and put them into a short term interest account.  I am not doing much more with them until February.  Good thing too as I have saved $300 in the last 10 days!  I was loosing sleep at night about the US economy!  That is a sign that I need to move my money!  lol!

Our EF Emergency Fund is in a TFSA and that will come due for renewal in January.  It is in a GIC (Guaranteed Investment Certificate) that we can withdraw from penalty free at any time but if you do you don't collect the interest.  Big whoop for how low the interest rate is.  But better than a slap in the belly with a wet fish!

My side of the family is unravelling.  The perfect sibling is in such deep debt and is emotionally paralyzed.  She has been in denial for so long that she can not function.  Her husband is running around with anything that breathes, drinking heavily (then driving) and gambling all of the time!  So when the going gets tough, princess gets a $150 hair cut, colour and highlights, and wants to get a new $300 North Face jacket...yep, that will make it all go away....

I don't know how crappy her marriage has to get before she says "Enough".  Rock bottom is at a different level for every person.  Hers level is pretty darn low I tell ya!  I'm just sitting back and watching the carnage and it isn't pretty.  There are 3 kids being left by the wayside in all of this nonsense!

I am hosting Christmas for the parents and the sibling.  She would be alone with the kids if I didn't.  It's been done to me (ignored at Christmas) but I won't reciprocate.  If I died tomorrow I would know that I chose to treat my family better than they have me and my children.  It's different now.  A giant emotional step back helps a lot.  I told my parents and sister what time, what is on the menu, what is expected of them (to bring) and that my own family of 5 will be going to church service Christmas eve as we have done and enjoyed the last 3 years.  They can choose to join us or not.  My house, my family traditions. 

It shouldn't be too much extra cost.  I have a big turkey that I was going to cook the 25th.  Now less leftovers is all. 

Maybe I'll stuff the bird with Prozac so that we all get along!!