The Last One has Flown Away

 The Nest is Empty.

Busy week last week.  Packing and sorting the life of an 18 year old.  All of it fit into the small SUV.  And away he went.  This year it is planned, no school to arrange, destination is known, faces are familiar.  That is a relief. But just like that, the house was quiet and big.  

The day before was the "Goodbye Tour" of the siblings and the friends and the girlfriend.  The last 6 months have been very difficult to navigate.  Transferring back to the city school, getting classes synched and adding 2 cyber classes, finishing and catching up with in person classes, graduating,  getting a job and working erratic shifts, finding a vehicle, trying to plan for the future. He still managed to have great marks and be in the "great distinction" group so I was very proud of him!  We hosted a party at our house, sadly the weather didn't cooperate so that we could enjoy the yard, but we had 20 guests for evening drinks and appies.  It was a lot of fun.  I haven't hosted a big gathering like that in many many years.  Having a pile of guests is a great reason to deep clean the house.  So it still looks pretty good 2 months later! 

I have my retirement documents all sorted out.  My HR department is staffed by imbecilic asses, and so I have to wait for them to do their jobs.  The person supposed to process my information mixed me up with another staff member and sent me all of her information! She thought that our names were the same.  Think Jackie Smith and Jean O'Connell (not my name or hers but similar)  Only the first letter is the same!  "Oh I thought you were Jean" "The names are similar and I got you mixed up".  No our names are not the same at all.  You didn't bother to take 5 seconds to read and pay attention to information.  You would think that that would be the reason that someone would be put on probation, or looses their job.  NOPE! Incompetence is celebrated and she will likely be promoted.  I reported her to her director with copies of all her errors, which I initially tried to patiently clarify with her and get her to answer simple questions.  She tripled down on her insistence that I was "Jean" in emails. So it finally ended with a phone call that I called her an idiot and she apologized for wasting my time, but not for sending information to the wrong person!   

I can't be rid of my employer soon enough.  Today I went through all of my cleaned out desk items that I brought home.  I have a small folder to give to my old coworker and the rest is in the shredder.  The dh will be pleased that he has a corner of the office back.  It was a bit congested for the last 3 months :)

I slept for 8 hours last night.  I had breakfast and coffee outside on the deck.  I watered the flowers and did a load of laundry.  I'm hoping that my book is in the library soon today and I will walk over.  My app tells me that I am at 15 books read so far this year.  I will have lots of time to enjoy this new one as dh is away all weekend.  Nice and peaceful.

Enjoy the start of Fall!

A Month of Retirement

 Tiring week last week. I accomplished virtually nothing.  I think that we had COVID.  Not sure as I don't have any tests left, but it wiped out the 3 of us.

The week started with a sour cookie! I opened a box of cookies and had one and it tasted sour.  Gross, must be a bad cookie. (Is there even such a thing?) So I tried another.  Gross, sour!  Gave what was left to dh, he tries and tells me that my tastebuds are whacked.  I wasn't hungry after that.  Then a tiny sore throat.  Then the chills, bone rattling, teeth chattering chills.  Then the sweats, then the chills and repeat for 24 hours.  Tylenol helped, then the sinus pressure.  Cold medicine helped.  Somehow 3 days went by and I didn't get out of my pj's.  Dh had same thing except no chills.  Now we both cough with the slightest exertion.  Kid 3 that spread it to us is still coughing too.  He's had bad headaches.

Oh well!?  At least I didn't have to go into work feeling like garbage.  I am doing all of my paperwork tomorrow.  Quite a few pages and several required ID photocopies to get the pension started. I have decided not to pull anything from my retirement savings for at least 2 years. (If even then) As it will lift me up into the next tax bracket. After speaking with my investment guy I will be buying RRSP's for the next couple of years to make sure that I don't have to pay any income tax.  Plus it will fill the gap when my bridged pension reduces. Not a large amount, but $200 per month at least, then more at tax time if required.  It will be the 2025 taxes that will tell the tale.

Other than the brush with VID it has been a nice summer.  Hot and not terribly smokey for a change.  The yard is starting to smell like fall with a hint of dry leaves in the air.  We got a lot of work done with some much needed maintenance to the shed and the deck.  I also touched up some outside house trim, and had dh do the stuff I couldn't reach.  The apple tree has had a truckload of apples this year.  Too many!!  The week of sickness was really the prime time for picking, many have hit the ground and then into the compost bin.  So far I think it has been 30+ gallons of apples pitched. (I load them into a 5 gallon pail and then haul them) There is still likely another 20 gallons on the tree, but I would need a crane!  Next year I will get an arbourist to hard prune it back after it flowers.

I made 6 big apple crumbles.  A new recipe that has pecans ground up in the topping.  I thought that I would give it a shot, and it was fantastic!  It is also gluten free for the celiac in the family and I can't tell the difference.

Easy Gluten Free Apple Crumble (No Oats) - Well Fed Baker

I have added more pecans to my topping after trying the first one.

Days are busy and not busy as I get into the new swing of things.  I really am not regretting retirement at all.  In fact loving it so far! The extra sleep has made me feel like a new person.  I haven't set an alarm for a month and it has been wonderful.  I still wake up early, but I don't have to drag myself to make a lunch, do hair and makeup and drive to work.  I have a ton of work clothes, but I am holding on to some of them for now.  I *think* that I will be doing a couple days a week volunteer work in a school, just waiting to see what the logistics would be like and I will need a criminal record check done before starting.

The grandbaby is beyond precious!  Loved to bits by all of us.  I'm fortunate to live so close to them.  Just starting to sit up and having big laughs and smiles.

 We are also planning a week long get away the end of next month.  The first annual empty nest vacay.  Hopefully another couple will be joining us, so that will spread out the driving.  Off to the mountains we will go.

The Good Things:

Feeling better

Babies

No Alarm clocks

Things that suck:

Taxes

COVID

 

The end of the career

 

I am quietly retiring from my organization. It hasn't been good at all for the last several months.  I refuse to bow down to someone so dense and disrespectful.  So, I'm wrapping it up. I have some paperwork left to sign but it is all in place.  Just need to turn in my badges. I don't have the tolerance anymore to explain (to the manager of the department) what our department does and the professional requirements and national standards that have to be met to a dolt that can't form a sentence.  Then for her to do a "copy and paste" of my work and pass it off as her own.  So I guess she is good at plagiarism?  Everyone has a skill is what I have always believed.

I met with my investment guy, ran the exact numbers and I am making the same retired, as I am on my reduced hours. (That was a thing that happened too - do more things in less time, and why aren't you done? and here's another thing for you to do and now explain it to "duh face" 11 times so that she can copy and paste it and present it like she did all of the work.)  I don't need to be Einstein to figure that one out.

Had the situation been better I would have worked until xmas and then trained my replacement.  That isn't how it happened.  (Insert little shrug and a too bad so sad look here) I can retire when I want. 😊I have heard that "duh face" has been having troubles.  Oh dear.  (Insert the same shrug and face here)

So many people have asked with the shocked voice "What are you going to do?!?"  

My response has been - "Whatever I want."  

I have been working since I was a child.  I had to help on the farm, my holidays, weekends and evenings were spent driving trucks (yes, well before age 12), cleaning the shop, shoveling wheat, mowing the farm site, picking rocks, hauling and carrying everything that was way too heavy for a little girl to carry, but I had to do it anyways.  I filled in for my Mom at her job since I was 12 and was not paid a dime for anything.  I babysat, I worked full time every summer from the time I was 14 years old.  I'm done. I'm tired, I'm done.

 The other day I was sleepy.  So I went and laid down and had a nap!  My yard looks wonderful, I putter around and when I'm tired I rest.  I don't have to finish 7 days of work in 2.  My fridge is clean.  My eyes don't have bags under them. I don't have the feeling of dread/puke before Monday.  My back still hurts but I can put some heat or ice on it, or have a bath, whichever option suits me at the time. I have so many home projects that I am looking forward to as I don't have to rush and do things on my days off.  I go for a walk every day.  I bought a new computer and I am learning about it every day.  Not feeling rushed.

Money wise I am not rich, but I am comfortable.  I have a lot of savings and I will likely start pulling out my RRSP's in the next couple of years to add to my monthly pension amount.  Only doing so to take my yearly income right up and under the tax bracket.  Then I will reinvest the withdrawals.  I don't need to use any of the money to live, but I will shuffle it around.

I will be free to babysit whenever needed.  I want to take a tai chi class, I want to volunteer.  I want to read more books.  I want to do whatever I want.

 Things that suck:

smoke and more smoke in the air

my parental units

Things that are great:

Just about everything else! 

😀

A Quick Getaway

 

Hola, buenos dias!

This was my morning coffee spot for the last week.  Nice to escape the cold for a while.  I’m tired and rested at the same time, which is what vacations do to me. 

I’m missing my margaritas and ocean swims.

I still have a week off from work. I hope to get a couple of things accomplished around the house. I need to go through my clothes and donate a pile of things that are too small. I also want to re-organize the bathroom and get rid of old toiletries and such . I collect so many lotions and creams and never seem to use them up entirely. Then I feel bad and keep them because I might use them someday. Instead they sit on a shelf and take up space.

I also need to order some large photos from my oldest’s wedding. I’ve taken down many of the pictures that I’ve been up for years. Slowly, trying to do a refresh. The house needs to be decluttered. I am finding it overwhelming at times. I think the way to fix that is to make space and make it simpler. I’m already looking forward to having another garage sale this year. There are many things that I have held onto for sentimental reasons. It’s time to embrace middle-age, and try to make things easier on myself.  Someone that I used to work with made the announcement to her family that she didn’t want anything given to her that she wouldn’t have room for in the nursing home. So instead of things she is gathering experiences. I would love to do more travel. I also want to try more recipes. I was using the Chefs Plate meal service, but I think I have food allergies so I need to cook for myself with my own ingredients.

Having my youngest live away from home has been a big adjustment. I’m so happy that he will be returning in a couple months depending how his team does in playoffs. Then it’s going to be graduation as well as making a plan for University or to continue playing on this team for another couple of years.

My oldest Has had and is having substantial health problems and injury. Him his wife and the new baby are going to need quite a bit of support I’m fortunate Enough that I have the time, and the financial means to do so.

Kid number two Is still employed thankfully, and still enjoying the work. The pay is not great but experience gained is making up for that. And again, I am fortunate enough that I have the time, and the financial means to help.

Perhaps it is enabling? I don’t consider it that, I take him and pay for his groceries once every couple of months, including Costco and filling up with gas while there.  

Today I’m going to get all of the laundry put away, and that includes sadly, my bathing suits. My skin is so dry it feels like it’s cracking coming from such high humidity to cold and dry. Maybe I will treat myself to a face mask and use up one of the containers of lotion I’m going to sort through!

The good things:

Freckles 

Finished a book 

Ocean swims

Things that suck:

-30 C

Health issues 

My parental units and sibling

 

6 years ago this is where I was.  It was a wonderful day.

Today too is wonderful.  So many changes have happened.  I’m on track to retire in 9-10 months. Currently saving $500 per week to add to the retirement plan.  I don’t know if I will end my employment then, but I can if I want. 

My work has been thrown into complete chaos.  Not terrible but definitely not a great environment.  My coworker has a new boss. The new boss is a useless fool. The fool keeps busy by micromanaging to the point of ridiculous.  They try that with me too.  When I tell them “I can’t get anything done because you keep asking what I’m getting done every 30 minutes”. I get a duhh face. Then I have to explain what I’ve already explained 30 minutes ago. Repeat 5 times a day!  I’ve had 3 toddlers so I’ve dealt with this before!

I just smile and keep it simple.  Seems to work.

Some huge life changes since I blogged last. My nest is empty. Kid 3 was added to a team a few hours away. Scramble to set up classes and living away. I was not prepared to say the least. I miss him horribly.  But a couple months and he will be back.  Now we have xmas together and I love it.  

Grocery bill is 1/3 of what it used to be.  

The man and I reached the brink.  He is in weekly counselling since the end of September.  I saw a therapist too. I’m not going back for now.  She said when I feel I’m ready to address trauma that I had as a child and young woman it would help, but I’m not ready.  What I do know is I will not put up with his behaviour for one more minute. I’m prepared financially if I need to leave.  

My parental units continue to be an annoyance.  I can’t fix things that are their own doing and choosing.  The mother has a noticeable cognitive decline, but her wicked narcissism helps cover it up.  She has always made herself to be the victim/martyr in stories, so the validity of her tales has always been questionable.  But now recounting events with names and dates is quite off.  Her incontinence continues to get worse.  (I wonder if someone has tried smacking the shit out of her as she did me and my sibling at age 2 for using a diaper?). Oops part of my old unhealed trauma coming out.  They have refused to move closer, so come what may.  I’m not dropping everything and driving half a day to cater to them. 

This xmas should be quiet.  Trying to have some time with all 4 kids now and eagerly awaiting the grand baby.  My dil is doing great.  Had a queasy start, but it’s actually funny to see how big her appetite is. (I of course do not ever say this!) she’s making up for lost meals that she had for the first few months.  

I have some shopping to do for kid 3 who needs some clothes for school.  (Easy to wash stuff because he has to do his own…funny how that’s a worry when mom isn’t there)

A couple stocking stuffers and then I should be all relaxed 😎 

Wishing you and yours a very happy holiday season!

BKat

Smoking Summer

 

Try to keep on the bright side.

Summertime is over, back to school. A summer of smoke and haze.  Not that enjoyable outside most days. I have a constant runny nose, cough and or mildly sore throat on the daily. I don’t have underlying lung issues either, for those it must be awful. 

Sports camp ended in disappointment. (Not for mom) So at home for grade 12.

I was able to max out my TFSA for the year. I chose a 1 year GIC. 5.5% is solid earnings. The RRSP’s that I have are not great. My older TFSA holdings are doing very well. I’m on track to retire in 12 months. My hesitation is that the man is still working from home. My days off now are often not enjoyable or relaxing. I may need to extend my career if he’s still not in the office. 

What is beyond wonderful…I’m going to be a grandma!!! I couldn’t be happier!!!

I will make myself available for childcare whenever they need. So proud of both of them. They’re both working on their masters now too.

Middle kid - praises be has found a job and seems to really like it.

Youngest, well when one door closes another one opens. I think there are great things ahead for this year.

Things that are great:

My TFSA

My hair! (Not even joking) I use my new brush/dryer and found a great product medley and no more frizz,

My grandbaby!

Things that suck:

My parental units 

Not having a peaceful house for retirement.

Here are more happy flowers 😁 to end on a positive!

Bloom Where You Are Planted

 

One low bloom on my lilac.  The rest are waaay up there on a shrub that should not be that tall.  I like this one, it blooms deep pink.  The yard

is heading into full bloom, and needs tending every day. Watering and some dead heading keeps the colours on show.  

A quiet summer ahead.  No graduation, no wedding.  Sports camp in September.  I want to head to the east coast.  I’ve never been in Canada, only the u.s.  As usual, it’s all depending upon the camp success.  

Health is seemingly a constant thing for me now. Just waiting for CT results that should be coming Monday. If it’s like this now, how awful will it be when I’m in my 60’s?

For nice things I spent an afternoon with extended family and had a wonderful visit. Lots of laughter and a few tears, but filled my heart. The most wonderful thing ever said to me “Who would have thought 54 years ago how wonderful your life would be”. Remembering me as an infant coming home from the hospital. “Look how great you turned out! Look what a beautiful family you’ve made!”  I needed to hear that. They know how hard I have worked to be better than where I came from and the loads I have carried. 

Because of the nice time we spent, my parental units are giving me the silent treatment. Jealous and angry because people are happy, visiting freely and each drank 1 beer. They don’t know how to enjoy the company of others.  It has to be a constant stream of mean gossip, how they are better than everyone…smarter, work harder, richer.  Nobody except them know how to do anything.  It all has to be awful or it isn’t worth talking about.  Then they get into politics and sexual preferences.  The minds are so narrow that they can’t see in front of their face.  The silent treatment isn’t such a bad thing!

I’m going to enjoy today, walk to the library.  Bbq this evening with the in-laws, but it’s only for a couple hours so I can handle it.  

My kid 3 is growing like a weed.  The food intake and sleep is astonishing really!  School marks are so good, I’m super proud.  Lots of activities being juggled around homework and a social life that’s 100x better and busier than mine 😊 If the camp doesn’t play out, I get to keep him at home another year. We’ve had a few rough patches, undeveloped frontal cortex issues.  Or being stupid some would say, but learning life lessons.  Much more mature than I was at 16 that is for certain. I’m hoping that unconditional love that I share with all 3 of my kids helps them get past mistakes and gives confidence.  I’m trying anyway, it’s not how I was raised, or ever treated.  I’m trying to do better every day.

Enjoy the weekend!