I'm Downshifting this Life of Mine!

I have to start with the good news...

I got the part time job that I bid for!  It will likely be a 3/4 time position which is perfect.
Right now the start date isn't until Sept-Oct but I want to move that up to summer.  I am so tired that I can't focus most days.  It's just too much.

It's about choices isn't it?  Choices that we make with our best - or not so best judgement.  Choices in what works best for us.

I still want what's best for my kids, and they will get it.  I still want what's best for my dh and I and we will have it too.  If your wants don't exceed your income - you have it made really.

My Mother in law was very annoyed or something when I told her I was reducing my hours.  She looked at me and said "Well where else are you going to work to make up the hours?"  When I said- nowhere, I'm going to try and get healthy and feel better, spend some time with my kids.  She shot her eyebrows up and pursed her lips.

She has no idea that I have paid off my mortgage.  She has no idea that I will have maxed out my RRSP's this year.  I have no intention of telling her either.  My inlaws are lovely people but the more dh and I learn they are terrible with money.  They both have to work full time to pay for loans and a new mortgage.

I also have an emergency fund. A healthy one that could last over a year if I couldn't work. I don't use it unless there is a real emergency either. And by real emergency I mean loosing a limb, fire, flood, natural disaster, that kind of thing. Your kid's feet growing and needing shoes, vet bills, a flat tire, a leaking hot water heater. Not an emergency. A fact of life. I have an account for that too. I call it "Crap Happens" and it makes me smile every time I take money out and put back in to read it on my bank statement.

The dh's looser siblings have no issue hitting people up for money.  Then they go on a trip to Jamaica, buy clothes,  remodel a kitchen.  Neither have a dime saved in the bank.

Then there is my looser sibling.  So far in debt and denial it is laughable.  After scoffing at my clothes, home, cars for years.  The open ridicule that was given to me.  Now the shift is from pompous to panic as the debt skyrockets and the paycheque stays the same.  At least her family will look good in trendy clothes and shoes when they repossess the house.  :)


I have no urge to flaunt anything.  We enjoy our friends and the extended family that aren't a part of the drama and nonsense.

My little one is done sports until the end of August!  Next weekend will be the first one at home since I don't know when!  I cannot wait to spend time in the yard and to get the bathroom remodel underway!

The smell from all of the fruit trees blooming in my yard and the neighbourhood is heavenly!  I could sit outside all day!

I am off to find something to eat for kid #3 and myself, and then off to swimming lessons.  (I don't count that as a sport- I call it a life necessity!)

The Good Things...

Having enough hours in to get one of the jobs I wanted

My dh and I have been working on our marriage for a long time now.  Things are much better.

My older 2 are working hard at their jobs and maturing

Things that suck...

Don't judge me by the size of my paycheque.

all of our siblings.



March Blurb

I'ts been awhile now so I am throwing a quick post up.

On the financial front things are happily rolling along well.  I finished my tax return and had my refund within 8 days!

This year I made less money than the hubs. (first time ever) So I got to claim the deductions for once!  This resulted in a big boom of a return.  Because I had been putting away a substantial amount on my RRSP's this helped my tax return even more.

Things that I learned this year of taxes:  my dh has a very good pension plan with work.  He "doesn't believe in RRSP's". And thus he owed $2500.  He has maxed out his TFSA total however.  Suits me.  I do believe in RRSP's because my pension sucks!  I haven't maxed out my TFSA but I hope to by the end of the year.

I am taking my tax return and investing in my TFSA.  In the past that money would have been a lump sum on the mortgage.  It feels so good to know that I am now investing in my retirement instead of paying the bank!

I did a No Spend February (Groceries not included) - with only $60 in cash used in outside $$ and it was all for the kids.  My credit card statement came and it was $0.  I think that proves I don't need anything else than what I already have!  I packed all my lunches for work, didn't shop for clothes or house stuff.  

This next month there are a few bills and costs on the horizon:  house insurance.  ACK!  this has gone up and up every year - now $1500.  That is what happens when your basement floods.... 

In a couple of weeks it is kid #1 and #2's birthdays and kid #3 starts a new hockey league.  3 out of town trips and a lot of practices.

This summer is a reunion for my old high school - it is for the last 50 years of graduates.  I will not be attending.  I spoke with my mother who I believe is on the organizing committee - she told me that they can't find most of the people.  (She likes to be very secretive and strange about the oddest things)  Well mother, have you guys thought of Facebook?  No... they are mailing everything via snail mail.  I told her it is a ridiculous waste of money on stamps!  Set up a facebook page or a website.  "They are working on it"  Whatever.  I have no desire to spend an uncomfortable weekend with my parents watching my mother and her fake smile plastered on for 3 days.

This summer is going to be very busy with my work project wrapping up.  Vacation requests are not being granted for then anyways.

I started the dh on Weight Watchers a month ago.  He has 125 lbs to loose to be at normal weight.  I would settle for 50.  In 14 days he lost 8 pounds and then decided it was too hard to go without his daily 2litres of pepsi and eating whatever and whenever he wanted.  So its all back.  I've lost a big 5 pounds (sarcasm) but I like the plan and the recipes so I am doing it myself and continue to make healthy meals and lunches at home. Another 12 pounds to go and I hope to get back into my clothes from last summer!  I've cut my coffee back to 2 cups a day - down from a pot a day!  I'm sleeping better and my heartburn is better too.  I can't give it up totally yet.....

It is looking like spring is trying to come around and so when some more of the ice melts I can get out walking!  That should help the weight a bit and I need some fresh air every day.  Been cooped up all winter!  Today I have a list of errands that need to be done and I might do some shopping for kid #3 that needs some sweats and or jeans that reach his ankles!  His are all so snug and have holes in the knees!  He has been eating like a little horse and sleeping so much - having a growth spurt for sure.

On my agenda today is also a trip to Target - lol!  See if I can find me my sweet clerk for some coupons!  As one annon commenter (in a nice way) accused me that I was too hard on the clerk and if it was me I might be the same as the rude clerk.  Ummm nope!  It doesn't matter if you make $10 or $60 per hour you can still be courteous and civil when dealing with the public and if you don't know what to do or how to do it - learn.  Mumbling and shuffling your feet when you walk, scowling at a person that is purchasing goods at your store is not acceptable.  The customer is the reason that you have a job - treat them as such.  If you can't handle the requirements, work somewhere else without human interaction.

End of the soapbox spiel  :)

Have a great week everyone!

Are my Coupons not good enough for you?!

I did a quick jaunt out to Target last night.  I had found some coupons in the Friday paper for things we needed.  As a rule I think that most coupons suck in Canada.  They are for junk and low value.  We are out of antiperspirant, shaving cream, mouthwash and shampoo and low and behold - a bunch of $2 off and 2 for 1 deals.

So I am not a new couponer, when I was on mat leave 7 years ago I couponed in earnest.  You have to sign up and search and it takes effort to find good coupons here. (That's why I don't do it much now).  I know that it has to be exactly as stated to be valid so the right size etc...

After finding clearance priced products that matched my coupons I happily go to the empty till.  There were 2 shampoo that had an "Instant Save $3", plus were on clearance - so I thought I scored them for 99 cents...

The woman at the till, unsmiling said something that I couldn't understand as a greeting.  (Or it could have been she told me where to go and how to get there)  I point to the save $3 now stickers on the 2 shampoo bottles and she peels them off and then proceeds to stare at the bottles and then stare at me, like I'm being sized up as the enemy.  After the inspection was finished she informs me "These expired Dec 31 - you can't use them".  "Fine" I say "Then I don't want to buy them".

I splay my remaining coupons out like a fan in plain sight as she rings through all of my finds.  I hold them up higher and say "I have coupons".

Sour puss then scolds me (I assume as I don't speak whatever she mumbled).  Something about "Next time... don't you do blah blah blah"  She then, with more attention to detail than a CSI she scourers the coupons.  I bought 2 Degree deodorant - same size, same price but different scents.  She humphs and tells me they aren't the same. (again assuming what she said was something like that) I said that isn't a condition of the coupon.  Heavy sigh and she shuffles back to her manager that says - "Yes they are the same".  She shuffles back to the till scowling. (Huge pet peeve of mine - pick up your frickin' feet when you walk!)

I had a solid 5 minutes of humphing and sighing and glaring to buy 13 things!!!  There was nobody behind me or I would have called a manager to help little miss nasty run her investigation.

There was a "Tell us how we are doing" survey at the bottom of my receipt - so I did!  LOL!!

So I think that I will now try to find a coupon and find that little twit to ring it in every time I am near the store.  The poor woman needs my help to improve and obviously likes to work hard on her investigative skills!!  I'm going to keep finding and "helping" her until she learns to give a proper greeting and enter in a coupon!

Honestly Target: Epic Fail.

On a good note - my family has no excuse to smell bad!  We are set for sweet smelling armpits and mouths for 6 months!

That was my Winter Getaway (or the blink you missed it holiday)

I am still recovering from a marathon driving/visiting/sightseeing/eating/drinking last weekend!!

3 Days and 2 Nights and a ton of fun!

We went to see my only normal family member and his family.  It was great and the kids - my big ones included had a ball!  Sight seeing, sporting events and so many laughs.

Unless you grew up where I did, have had to be around my family, you can never really know what it was like growing up and being a part of it.  We could just talk.  No need to explain.  No need to sugar coat it.  It was like a therapy session for both of us!

The question that they had for me was "How the hell did we break away from that craziness?"  Both of us are very removed from our parents and siblings. Really, I don't know, it took a very long time. A combo of the love of my husband and kids, my personal strength, the personal growth that I have had over the years from my job and a sense of the world around me.  I don't think for one minute that the world revolves around me (unlike my parents and sibling).

I'm back to work and back to sports with my kid #3.  It was a very nice reprieve.

I'm having a dilemma of sorts for the last few days...  there is an upcoming opportunity for me to work part time.  Half as many nights and weekends.  I found it so timely to read about others that have a guilt for not working full time or bringing home the max $$ that they can.  I did that for 11 years of full time + a part time + overtime and then I almost had to pack it in from permanent injury.  My job is very physical.  The desk job I have now ends this spring.  I don't think my old job of full time is sustainable with my bad back.  I hate my boss - and I mean it Hate. My. Boss.  One of the dirtiest snakes I have had to work with in 23 years.  I think at part time I can handle it. Or I can explore other jobs as well as my previous one being only part time.  With any luck the boss will be promoted as that is what usually happens to nasty SOB's and I can go back to full time.  I am not afraid of the decreased income but I am feeling guilt or something for wanting to pull back and slow down.

I have a whack of vacation to burn up before my employer's fiscal year end or it will be paid out.  I would rather have paid time off!! So there are a lot of long weekends for me in the next 2.5 months!

Tonight I am relishing quiet time alone.  Everyone else had somewhere to go and I opted out!  Yay!! A movie that I like, popcorn and a glass of wine!!



My Blog is on Hiatus

Things are under control financially.  Thanks to hard work and a good paying job.

It is the personal life that needs work.  So I'm leaving it personal.

I am still around the blogging world, following and adding my 2 cents here and there.

If I can get out of debt ANYONE can!

Surprise $$

I was very surprised to find a couple of deposits in my bank account this last week.  Big, like $3,000 big.  In January I had a boatload of paperwork and crap to fill in because of my work injury.  I was told by my employer that I had to or I would not get my medical coverage or my pension benefits.

So a ton of photocopies, 2 trips to the Dr., too many phone calls to count and I mailed and faxed in my life story.

Apparently, I wasn't applying for what they told me or for what it said on the forms!  I had called the company and clarified twice, told them I was working full time again.  I thought it was all tickety-boo.

I got a letter from the same lady I had clarified why and for what all of the paperwork was for saying that this was my income supplement for when my employer dropped down my hours, and that they gave it to me even though I had applied 8 months too late!???

Umm Hello???  I filled in all of the BS within a week of getting the forms from my employer!  I don't have access to these forms unless they are given by my employer.  Don't tell me I am 8 months late.  I was told it was for medical benefits and pension coverage.  That wasn't done at all.  Talk about screwed up departments.  I don't care, they are all a bunch of fools.  I will take the money.
*edited to add:  I apparently met the criteria to receive it, even though not one dummy told me about it when my wage was cut by 3/4*

So I added money to my 2 savings accounts of 1. House stuff /crap happens and 2.  Vacation.

My little #3 had his other test done and it was a nightmare.  I don't even like to think about it.  I knew it had to be done but he didn't cope well and had a lot of discomfort.

Now we wait and find out what needs to happen.  3 options: 1.big surgery 2. small surgery no external work, just a scope and injection in the bladder 3. nothing - live with it and hope it doesn't get worse.

I am going to phone the specialists office today.

DH has been at his new job all week.  It is identical behavior that he has done for his last 6 jobs.  He phones me (no matter where I am or what I'm doing), tells me he hates it, tells me he's quitting.  Pretty much has a panic attack and acts like he's 4.  I tell him that we have been through this 6 times now and for the 6th time he will be fine and if he doesn't want to work he can move home and live with his mommy.  Suck it up and be a man.  Honestly!  I didn't even have to finish my spiel this time... I said my usual lines "and if you don't want to work you...."  "I can move home with my mother"  "There you go honey"
I'm tired, I too am doing a job that I don't love and find a breeze.  Trust me that the stress levels in what we do are not comparable at all.  I would love to have as little responsibility as he does.  His biggest decision this week was where to go for coffee!!!  I don't drive the sympathy bus.  I should be all gushy I suppose but really, I have supported my family for 10 years financially.  Until the mortgage was paid and since then - even with my reduced wage we split the bills in 1/2.  He does pay for the line of credit that the vehicles are on.  He could pay it off in its entirety today but he doesn't want to part with the cash.  His choice to pay the interest.

My kid #1 got a full time job this summer.  (Yeah mom and the new resume!).  I helped with his cover letter too as his dad, my idiot x told him he could and should use the same one for all jobs he applies for!?

No, you need to be specific to the job you are applying for.  He had a "Group Interview" with 6 others and he got the job.  I was very proud of him.  He's a friendly nice kid and should do fine working at this place over the summer.

As soon as we find out the plan for little #3 we are going to book a holiday or 2.  I have also had a talk with DH that IF our little guy needs the big surgery I will not work anymore.  I'll take a leave for as long as it takes for him to be fine again.  I had planned to go part time at the end of 2013 and we would be financially fine.  If I have to work 0 hours and care for my son full time we will be more than fine too.  I will just stop the big RRSP monthly buy I'm doing and reduce or stop the RESP.

It really never gets easy does it?

The Good Things...
free $$ as far as I'm concerned
We have jobs that pay well
my older 2 have good jobs for summer
I am prepared to do what I need to do for my son's health

Things that suck...
I would do anything to trade places with my little guy
not loving your job
stress

I've been nominated!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you to Aggie over at  http://www.shoestringmanor.com/

 

 

1. How long do you wait before purchasing non-essential items?
Anything that is for myself and over $100 I will wait at least 3 days.  For the family I will talk it over with dh.

2. Why are you cheap?
I'm not cheap.  I would rather buy quality over something cheap that will wear out twice as fast.
My dh is cheap.  He wears out clothes and shoes twice as fast as me but doesn't see how it relates. I will also save up to buy good quality furniture instead of flimsy cheapo stuff. 

3. Processed, from scratch or both when you cook?
Both.  This last year with a back injury that made me loose hand and arm strength I have been happy to have pre-made things.  ie pre sliced carrots!

4. Manufactured or homemade (non-food)?
We all prefer homemade
5. How handy/creative are you? 1-10 scale.
I'll give myself a 7.  Points off for not being able to knit or crochet.  I am very comfortable with tools...drills, saws, drywall, painting, etc. I like to create in my yard with landscaping and flowers.

6. Books or movies?
Books

7. Why blog?
It is an outlet for me because I don't share my finances with anyone on a regular basis in real life.

8. Dogs or cats?
I have a dog but I love all animals and would have a zoo in my house if I could.

9. Do you use Google to spell check?
Yes

10. Cast iron cookware, yes or no?
No.

11. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A pilot.

11 Random things about me...

1.  My Mom-in-law frequently buys me clothes, and I love them :)

2.  I have never worn the colour red in my life until a month ago and I got a pair of pants/jeans that were $24 reg $100 for my new job.

3.  My own family is a dysfunctional mess.  We don't talk.  My mom has never said that she loves me, and I can count on one hand the compliments that I have got in the last 10 years.  (none on my wedding day). 

4.  I am now back at a very well paying job.  My dh is too.

5.  Because of my spending habits and savings we didn't go without anything when my wage was severely reduced.  I can also decrease my job to part-time and we will still maintain the same lifestyle.

6.  I have at times a wicked temper.  (I blame my red hair)

7.  Because of my family mess I love my own kids with openness and I tell them I love them and am proud of them often.  I am a moma bear when it comes to my boys.  This red hair also makes me love fierce and protect fierce.  ;)

8.  I am very uncomfortable in large crowds.  I hate when strangers bump into me.  Dh understands now and he always works to clear a path and be my bouncer when we go to a sporting event or concert.

9.  I love American football.  I'm Canadian.

10.  The last time I flew in a plane was 4 years ago.  We had horrible turbulence 10 minutes straight before landing and I thought that I was going to start puking along with the kids behind me.  I'm scared to fly again.

11.  I buy everything with a credit card.  I pay it off in full every month and have done so for 10 years now.


 I will come back and tag some blogs when I've thought of some questions today.

Questions I wonder about others...

1.  Do you talk to family and friends freely about money like you may do on your blog?
2.  When is the last time you went out for a nice meal?  (And enjoyed it)
3.  You are given $500, where does it go?
4.  A job you hate for 6 figures or a job you love for minimum wage?
5.  Green thumb or brown thumb?
6.  What would be a "do over and do different" in your life?
7.  What would be a "do-again"?
8.  Most expensive piece of clothing you ever bought?  (Includes wedding wear)
9.  What do you collect?
10.  The last thing that you baked as a treat?
11.  Would you be able to handle 6 months without any income for your family?

I nominate...

http://thehawaiiplan.blogspot.com/
http://lifebeginsatretirement.blogspot.com/
http://anostrichnamedsam.blogspot.com/
http://planetdebtfree.blogspot.com/
http://outmywindowtoday.blogspot.com/
http://www.thequesttobe.com/